IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The number of people being Insent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful. Discuss both views.

#people #insent #prison #year #crime #community #service
In recent years, the
astonoshing
Correct your spelling
astonishing
 crime rate and violent crimes remind us
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 severe security challenges we encounter. Some people believe it is a must to lock up
criminals
 while others prefer to utilize
community
 service
order
Change preposition
in order
show examples
 to educate offenders. Personally, I believe
community
 service is a preferable method to regulate them for the following reasons. Admittedly, installations
such
 as prisons can effectively reduce the damages caused by
criminals
 as their behaviours are restricted and supervised.
However
,
community
 services can bring more concrete benefits to the local
community
 at large.
For instance
, offenders will be required to take care of the vulnerable population at hospitals or nursing homes.
This
 strategy is proved to be extremely useful,
in particular
, in regions where there exists a labour shortage in the healthcare sector. Giving
criminals
 a chance to serve the local
community
 is a golden chance for them to prove their values and compensate for damages made to our society.
Furthermore
, as an alternative
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 prisons,
community
 services help
criminals
 to develop interpersonal skills
instead
 of isolating them. Services,
such
 as helping the police regulate local traffic and helping nurses to take care of patients, demand offenders improve
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their communication and team-working skills.
Submitted by jiachenguq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: