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Band 4

Playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievements for any child. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#instrument #achievements #child
These days, people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been believed that
children
 should have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to play
music
 because it is essential for their
accomplishment
Fix the agreement mistake
accomplishments
show examples
. I totally disagree with the given statement because there is something more fundamental than having
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to play
music
. Every child
born
Add a missing verb
is born
show examples
 unique with different characteristics and preferences which is not all of them like to play guitar and others. They have their own aptitude, parents shouldn't force their
children
 to master
certain
Add an article
the certain
a certain
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
,
such
 as
music
. If parents keep forcing them, it will make them overwhelmed. Mastering instrumental
music
 does not necessarily
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 that
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
show examples
 happy to play with it.
Otherwise
, they should give many options to see their actual eagerness.
Music
 is just a supporting subject that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 no big consequences if
children
 do not have
capacity
Change the article
the capacity
show examples
 to play it.
Instead
, the most meaningful aptitude that should be mastered by the
children
 is survival skills so they can adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
uncertainty
Replace the word
uncertain
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 conditions.
For instance
, when the pandemic comes to
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 area,
children
 may deal with distance learning.
Furthermore
, violin and other
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 are just a complement which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 no impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their critical life. It can be something that
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to play
when
Change preposition
with when
show examples
 it comes to spare time. Even if piano, guitar,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc are tertiary needs,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can help
children
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 stress and
boosting
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
 their moods.
However
, parents should be flexible and
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 other skills than playing
music
, because it will make
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be more
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
.
Submitted by vmuflihahf on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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