Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
people
more
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
abortion
since get
increas
Correct your spelling
has
rapidly
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a controversial topic, so some
people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
abortion
must be legal in law but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
against
Add a missing verb
are against
show examples
it. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opninion
Add a comma
opninion,
show examples
it is the
bad
Replace the word
worst
show examples
decision ever in law or government if they make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abortion
to be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
legal. On the one hand,
people
think
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abortion
is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
way
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
For example
, the main problem of many countries is
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of population very significant, so the best choice to reduce
that is
abortion
.
Much
Correct quantifier usage
Many
show examples
people
who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
job
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
poor, they think
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
abortion
the baby can save the life of their
babies
because if they birth to the world, they can not give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness to their children
due to
poor
Correct pronoun usage
their poor
show examples
situation. On the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand, several
people
think if anyone wants to
arbotions
Correct your spelling
abortions
it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big fault because is
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same
like kill
Change preposition
as killing
show examples
the human
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and did not give
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to the
babies
know how
live
Add the particle
to live
show examples
in our world. For instance,
woman
Add an article
a woman
the woman
show examples
who
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
pregnant might be by accident
such
as pregnant without married, so they make the bad decision
due to
afraid of their parents, so they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to
abortions
Fix the agreement mistake
abortion
show examples
although
the mistake is not from the
babies
, but from their parents. In conclusion, I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abortion
should not be
a legal activities
Correct the article-noun agreement
legal activities
a legal activity
show examples
even
Rephrase
apply
show examples
some
people
think it can
reduced
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
the population, but much solution to reduce that.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
abortion
is a bad decision because we
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not humanity because we do not let
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
babies
see the world.
Submitted by IELTS B9 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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