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Band 4

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
An increasing number of
people
 move to urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 for seeking opportunities for
better
Add an article
a better
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 lifestyle.
However
, living in metropolitan areas is challenging,
authorities
Correct word choice
and authorities
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 should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 to address problems. There is no doubt that making a profit plays a prominent role in business survival.
Besides
this
, they should possess social commitment. I strongly agree with
this
 notion. Some authorities place a premium on
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
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 of
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
. While citizens believe that improvement in other aspects
such
 as health and education is equally necessary. Personally, I am strongly inclined to the
second
 view. Nowadays, high-risk recreations are becoming increasingly popular among
people
, and they take part in
sports
such
 as rock climbing and snowboarding. There are several reasons why
people
 tend to attempt these unusual activities. Since there might be some undesirable physical side effects from them,
sports
 providers, I believe, should take the necessary steps to tackle the problem. There are several reasons why individuals show
tendency
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a tendency
show examples
towards
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 extreme
sports
.
To begin
 with, the main reason justifying their belief is feeding of excitement.
That is
 to say, they assert that by doing action
sports
 they would experience a feeling of joy as well as
outleting
Correct your spelling
outlets
outlet
 for energy. Take an average university student who encounters various stressful situations
range
Wrong verb form
ranging
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 from low pay for
part-time
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a part-time
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 job to studying long hours for exams as an example;
this
 would help them to escape from the stress and monotony of life.
In addition
, there is another reason which is by no means negligible.
To be
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Be
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specifically
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specific
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, well-known
people
 endorse these entertainments which increase interest between others and motivate them to attend more.
However
, there might be some drawbacks involved in these pastimes which could be controlled by introducing some regulations.
In other words
, as these actions seem to be
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
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 there should be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
health insurance that covers (in-action ?) harms. To put it differently, attendees can take part while they are provided with medical insurance, and
this
 move one step forward in improving safety which in turn decreases the damage posed by the danger of these
sports
. In conclusion, the main reason
people
 care for extreme
sports
 is to provoke a feeling of joy, and despite the possible risks, having insurance provides security.
Submitted by ansarimaryam on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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