IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe studying in a college or university is the best way to prepare for a successful career.Other people prefer to get a job as soon as they leave scool and to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #college #university #career #job #scool #work
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Knowledge and experience are factors which can be useful to have a better future. Several people believe that having a university degree is necessary to be successful someday.
However
Linking Words
, few are dispute
on
Change preposition
apply
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that notion
,
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apply
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 and think that getting a
job
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 after school is much better to gain more experience. In line with the above statement, I agree that getting
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
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 after school is beneficial because they will get a lot of opportunities to get the
job
Use synonyms
 that they want and good
remunaration
Correct your spelling
remuneration
 than just getting an experience. To commence with, it is imperative nowadays to finish studying at the university so that you can have your
dream
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
. Let us say that a
child
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childhood
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Use synonyms
dream
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dreams
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 to be a nurse and to chase that
dream
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 is to finish a
four year
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four-year
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 course. Apart from that, student needs to take
examination
Add an article
the examination
an examination
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 to get a license and become
a
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apply
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professional nurse.
Additionally
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, being professional is having a chance to get a higher
salary
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.
For instance
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, nurses are
indemand
Correct your spelling
in-demand
in demand
 in every part of the world today.
Moreover
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, they can have opportunities to migrate and to have
a
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apply
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stable
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
For instance
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, in the Philippines,
nurses
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nurses'
nurse's
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 are not that high
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to other countries like the U.K and USA.
Consequently
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, they choose to migrate to
other country
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another country
other countries
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 to have a better
salary
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 even though they will are miles away from their family. While, if a person did not finish school and just
work
Fix the agreement mistake
works
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 after, they will have a limited option of work they can choose.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, they cannot achieve more
salary
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 in the distant future because they do not have
Add an article
a diploma
show examples
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
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 which some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the company is one of the requirements. To sum up, it is pivotal that each individual should finish their study so that they will achieve their
dream
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 and
well-paid
Add a missing verb
be well-paid
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 in the future. In that, they can easily achieve a better life.
Submitted by gaylee_23 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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