In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

In some parts of the world,
people
have to move to other places and leave their hometowns for work purposes.
This
trend is popular right now for some positive aspects, but I believe that these aspects cannot compensate for the negative ones. On the one hand, living alone in other places without
parents
and
friends
can bring
people
both economic and personal benefits.
People
often move to other cities or other countries to have better jobs with higher salaries.
This
means that they may have a more economically stabilized
life
with a secured job, and
this
trend can be seen in a rise in migration cases to the US.
Furthermore
, by choosing to live independently in the absence of both
parents
and childhood
friends
, many
people
can enjoy more freedom in
life
,
such
as food to eat, a place to spend the night, or clothes to wear without interference from their
parents
and
friends
.
On the other hand
, I believe these advantages are outweighed by disadvantages. Higher salaries and a financially secured
life
may not help those who suffer from homesickness or loneliness that
Replace the word
lives
show examples
life
far away from home causes. These feelings may destroy
people
’s enthusiasm and excitement in the workplace or perhaps lead to depression and suicide. Research alarms a high rate of suicide cases in developed countries where
people
have to stay alone in big cities. Many individuals may
also
suffer from other diseases,
such
as obesity or eating disorders when living by themselves because they have no one staying around
reminding
Change the verb form
to remind
show examples
them of regular healthy meals, and eating junk food or skipping meals may be the only choice. In conclusion, the disadvantages of migrating to a different place for work without the company of
parents
and
friends
are much more than the advantages.
Submitted by hmkvrt221 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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