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Band 4

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace.with today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate.Technology is increasinly responsible for unemployment. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#century #advances #people #workplace #technology #process #rate #unemployment
Some people believed that the
increasingly
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increased
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surge in
unemployment
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the unemployment
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 rate is attributed to advanced technology which is at a fast pace.
However
,partially I agree with the statement and will explain
further
Correct pronoun usage
it further
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 in
this
 essay. On the one hand,In our world today,automation has taken over many operations in organisations which
has
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have
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 led to
reduction
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a reduction
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 in the number of employees because machines are invented and programmed in
such
 a way that they can replace human beings.
For instance
,
in
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apply
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E-banking ATMs dispenses cash for people and they necessarily do not need to visit the bank itself before they withdraw cash.
Hence
,making the need to employ a teller man useless.
Additionally
,some grocery stores sacked their sales boys and girls because there are robots programmed to do the shopping for people and make money
transaction
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transactions
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 with the customers.
This
however
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,however
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,
increase
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increases
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 their profits as they do not have to pay anybody for service rendered.
This
 can probably lead to
high
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a high
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 level
in
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of
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 crime rate because as they say an idle hand is a devil's workshop.
On the other hand
, these machines can not work 100
percent
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per cent
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 on their own,there is still a place for operators who are skilled and trained to handle these machines and operate them.So only those who have the technological experience can be
at
Correct your spelling
an
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 advantage.
For example
,a software programmer,cyber security and so on are those that can be
opportuned
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opportunity
opportune
 to be employed in our world today. To conclude,I agree that the world is revolving with
advance
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advanced
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 technology and
it's
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its
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 impact is influencing unemployment individuals
also
 need to keep up with the pace.
Submitted by itshayo96 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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