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Band 4

A"cashless society" is one where people use Debit/Credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages.

#cashless #society #people #debit #credit #cards #forms #payment #cash
In
this
 contemporary time, with the use of newly innovated technology, people can do any
payment
 transaction
thru
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
This
 is the reason why it is trending nowadays a cashless society in which every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 can pay by Debit/Credit cards
instead
 of cash. I strongly believe that
payment
 thru the use of cards
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more merits than drawbacks. To commence with, these days, people are more convenient to use online
payment
 due to the fact that the
internet
 is accessible anywhere in the world.
Moneyless
Add an article
The moneyless
A moneyless
show examples
 financial transaction is popular today
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 during
this
 time of
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
 virus.
Furthermore
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 terrified
going
Change preposition
of going
show examples
 outside because they can get the virus.
Thus
, they just do errands by browsing the
internet
 just like buying groceries and paying bills which they can easily pay by using Debit/Credit cards.
Additionally
, there are
instance
Fix the agreement mistake
instances
show examples
 in life that a person can forget their wallets but they can still do
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 because most
of
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apply
show examples
the phones have apple and
samsung
Change the capitalization
Samsung
show examples
 pay.
Consequently
, the
internet
 can access by professional hackers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
scam
Fix the agreement mistake
scams
show examples
 to
ramdom
Correct your spelling
random
 people who are mostly not knowledgeable
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 new technology. After they can get the
one time
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
 password they can easily get all the money
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others. In my conclusion, innovation of technology is beneficial
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 because
payment
 online is
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
 than using cash.
However
, the
internet
 can be accessible to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scammers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can do theft just by using the
internet
.
Submitted by gaylee_23 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payments
  • financial inclusion
  • technological infrastructure
  • transactions
  • privacy concerns
  • financial management
  • system failures
  • cyber-attacks
  • convenience
  • electronic payments
  • budgeting
  • financial information
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