Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

#children #computers #entertainment #time #sports #games

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In the modern era, many youngsters are spending more and more time to

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

computers, as well as,

a mobile phones

Correct the article-noun agreement

mobile phones

a mobile phone

show examples

. In the present day, we have to motivate the children to play outdoor

games

instead

of mobile or computer

games

. I strongly agree with

this

statement and I will discuss it in the upcoming paragraph with my opinion.

To begin

with, nowadays, for live happy and for fitness, the number of people plays

such

kind of

sports

activities and it is

also

kept healthy our body and life.

For example

, we know about some kinds of outdoor

games

likewise

cricket, football, tennis and so on. In

this

,game any kind of exercise includes running and walking.

However

, while we play

this

game,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

exercise

also

occurs simultaneously.

As a result

, We keep fit and healthy.

In addition

, the pupils place board

games

so that they get some freshness and feel energetic.

Consequently

, they can concentrate on their work

such

as their study.

Furthermore

, sometimes people don't know about his skill.

For instance

, Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

belongs

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

poor family, but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has

Correct article usage

a keen

show examples

keen

Correct your spelling

been

show examples

interested

Replace the word

interest

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cricket.

Therefore

, he was playing

this

game during the nighttime or

Change preposition

in a

show examples

Change the word

his

show examples

free time.

As a result

, nowadays he is the God of cricket and everyone knows him. So that,

sports

activity is helpful in our life. In a contrast, several people are playing

a mobile

Correct the article-noun agreement

mobile games

a mobile game

show examples

games

and using their computers. After a long

duration

Add a comma

,duration

show examples

It can

harmful

Replace the word

harm

show examples

our

Change preposition

to our

show examples

eyesight. To conclude, I suppose, outside activities

such

sports

games

are more beneficial as compared to indoor

games

. These

sports

make a healthy lifestyle in the future.

Submitted by shrikunjrana0612 on Fri Jun 17 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include •Where you stayed •What the problems were •How they can fix your complaints

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

the rise of the social media has a affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communicatton outweigh the disadvantages?

Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. Why is that? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion?