Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

#children #computers #entertainment #time #sports #games

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In the modern era, many youngsters are spending more and more time to

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

computers, as well as,

a mobile phones

Correct the article-noun agreement

mobile phones

a mobile phone

show examples

. In the present day, we have to motivate the children to play outdoor

games

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of mobile or computer

games

Use synonyms

. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will discuss it in the upcoming paragraph with my opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, nowadays, for live happy and for fitness, the number of people plays

such

Linking Words

kind of

sports

Use synonyms

activities and it is

also

Linking Words

kept healthy our body and life.

For example

Linking Words

, we know about some kinds of outdoor

games

Use synonyms

likewise

Linking Words

cricket, football, tennis and so on. In

this

Linking Words

,game any kind of exercise includes running and walking.

However

Linking Words

, while we play

this

Linking Words

game,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

exercise

also

Linking Words

occurs simultaneously.

As a result

Linking Words

, We keep fit and healthy.

In addition

Linking Words

, the pupils place board

games

Use synonyms

so that they get some freshness and feel energetic.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they can concentrate on their work

such

Linking Words

as their study.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, sometimes people don't know about his skill.

For instance

Linking Words

, Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

belongs

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

poor family, but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has

Correct article usage

a keen

show examples

keen

Correct your spelling

been

show examples

interested

Replace the word

interest

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cricket.

Therefore

Linking Words

, he was playing

this

Linking Words

game during the nighttime or

Change preposition

in a

show examples

Change the word

his

show examples

free time.

As a result

Linking Words

, nowadays he is the God of cricket and everyone knows him. So that,

sports

Use synonyms

activity is helpful in our life. In a contrast, several people are playing

a mobile

Correct the article-noun agreement

mobile games

a mobile game

show examples

games

Use synonyms

and using their computers. After a long

duration

Add a comma

,duration

show examples

It can

harmful

Replace the word

harm

show examples

our

Change preposition

to our

show examples

eyesight. To conclude, I suppose, outside activities

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

are more beneficial as compared to indoor

games

Use synonyms

. These

sports

Use synonyms

make a healthy lifestyle in the future.

Submitted by shrikunjrana0612 on Fri Jun 17 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is often said that the government spend too much money on the projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problem that are more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, some people believe that governments should invest taxpayers’ money in healthcare, while others believe that money should be used in other areas.

Some people think that competation at work, at school and daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.