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Some people believe that happiness is a person responsibility while other thinks it’s depend on other factors.Do you agree or disagree.

#people #happiness #person #responsibility #it’s #factors
It is believed that everyone deserves
happiness
 in every place we belong. Everybody should be happy about the
factors
 they think can make them happy. I strongly agree that a healthy mind causes
happiness
 for every person in
this
 world. On the one hand, other
factors
 can impact everyone’s
happiness
,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 family and friends. These two
factors
 are the most important things in someone’s life. Many people believed that a good joy depends on with person we can spend it on.
In addition
, a good hobby will help someone to pursue their goals.
For instance
, travelling can be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine for those who are bored with their everyday tasks.
In Contrast
, travelling can be a poison for those people who do not like it.
However
, it is true that
happiness
 depends on what you think, not the way you do. If someone thinks always be positive and be confident,
then
 it is believed that their body and mind will always be healthy and positive in many ways. Many citizens know that
happiness
 is not dependent on how much money we had, I strongly agree that money can not buy
happiness
 because only the true person can reflect
happiness
 in their true colours. Many conditions people had, it is not obstructing someone’s conditions for not to be happy. To conclude,
happiness
 does not depend on what you don’t have, but on what you had. Many
factors
 can cause
happiness
such
 as a healthy life, family friends and a career.
Submitted by IELTS B9 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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