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Band 5.5

IN MANY PLACES, NEW HOMES ARE NEEDED, BUT THE ONLY SPACE AVAILABLE FOR BUILDING THEM IS IN THE COUNTRYSIDE. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO PROTECT THE COUNTRYSIDE AND NOT BUILD NEW HOMES HERE. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ABOUT IT

#places #homes #space #countryside #people
It is a fact that due to
burgeoning
Correct article usage
the burgeoning
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 population,
requirement
Add an article
the requirement
a requirement
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new homes has been increasing and suburbs are the only
area
 where free space is available to allocate.
However
, many assert that it is
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the hour that countryside
areas
 should be preserved by prohibiting any new residential constructions. In my
contention
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,contention
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although
 countryside should be protected yet residence is the rudimentary need of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. Beginning with
view
Add an article
a view
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why
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on why
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 it is believed that suburbs need to be protected.
First
 and foremost is the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some natural places where people feel solace
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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. Unlike bygone days, nowadays
city
 centres have become concrete jungles where there is no place for any natural beauty spots. Meanwhile, villages are the only
area
 where people can get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to stay close to nature without any pollution.
Moreover
, saving these places is highly recommendable to protect the environment which is declining day by day just because of human activities.
For instance
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
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 about 70%
natural
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of natural
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 beauty spots are located far away from crowded
city
 centres which are major contributors to
generate
Wrong verb form
generating
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 oxygen in the
area
 and
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
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 the country’s atmosphere. Despite the aforementioned points, villages are suitable to develop residential
areas
. Residence, indeed, is
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
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 need for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 as in
this
 modern era, owing to mushrooming population
this
 requirement is at the boom. At the same time, cities are almost full as there is no more space to occupy for residential purposes.
That is
 why
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is considered that
city
 should be expanded over the nearby suburbs as
this
 could be
win-win
Add an article
a win-win
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 situation for both.
City
 dwellers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only feel it convenient to reside with their families in open
areas
 but
also
 villagers get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to be developed while connecting with mega cities.
For example
, in
NCR
Correct article usage
the NCR
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 region
Delhi
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of Delhi
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, India, it is noticed that the
area
 is expanded over 500
Kilo meters
Correct your spelling
Kilometres
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 recently by including less developed
areas
 of Haryana and UP. In conclusion,
although
 villages are natural beauty places which are needed to be preserved yet I believe that cities should be expanded to provide residential facilities to the citizens.
Submitted by upasna.garg44 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: