More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

It is irrefutable that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
years
Change to a genitive case
year's
years'
show examples
youth
from developed nations are actively involved in voluntary
community
services
, predominantly contributing more towards undeveloped
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
education
and setting up basic amenities
such
as
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, jobs, etc.
This
is definitely a great movement from the young
generation
. While the
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
benefits more
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
event, the
youth
also
gain contentment is spending their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
helping other poor individuals from their own earth. The ensuing paragraphs
intends
Change the verb form
intend
show examples
to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
appreciable movement in detail.
First
of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
there are
amble
Correct your spelling
ample
show examples
amount of opportunities to help others in every
community
. But not everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the situation or mindset to get involved in the charity
services
often.
However
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
percentage of our young
generation
shows interest to come down to live a
life
with the
below average
Add a hyphen
below-average
show examples
families.
This
is often seen in urban wealthy families. Some
people
do
this
for charity. They wanted to experience the other side of
life
which may help them to achieve
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
state of satisfaction by giving to the needy. Rather than spending
the
Change the word
their
show examples
whole
life
in developed home
countries
,
youth
often travel to the
countries
where the basic
life
support
is needed more.
For example
,
countries
Change preposition
in countries
show examples
in Africa,
people
do not have enough
support
for
education
, food,
accommodation
Correct word choice
and accommodation
show examples
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, our good
youth
try to reach these places to provide necessary
services
as much as they can. They even spend years in these
countries
to ensure enough
support
for the local communities.
On the other hand
, there are students who
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
involved in the
community
services
as part of their
education
. They may have a project to deeply understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the issues in poor
countries
or societies. Some
people
may continue the
services
even after their studies and some of them finish their
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
and move on. At the end of the day, the
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
to note here is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the mindset of the young
generation
. There is no
hesitant
Replace the word
hesitation
show examples
in entering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
life
of
poor's
Correct article usage
the poor's
show examples
and spending months and years with them.
That is
something we should always appreciate. The poor
community
who are in need always have benefits with either of the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
scenarios, because the
support
they receive
such
as
education
, modern culture, the developed
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
mindset, etc. will help them to think and act right to build their path towards the development. While the
youth
learn more about developing
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
which may benefit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their studies, as I mentioned earlier the happiness in giving is the primary benefit
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
the
youth
gain by spending their valuable time and wealth for the poor
people
. In summary,
this
is a seismic shift in
thought
Add an article
the thought
show examples
process of our young
generation
which will
support
the poor societies to build a strong base. Predominantly, the communities
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
more from
this
movement as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to the
youth
who are spending their resources. The ramification of these events will surely open up a better tomorrow.
Submitted by rijoshjoywyd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: