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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people now undertake extreme activities from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

#people #activities #mountain #risk #lives #trend #reason
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There are many
activities
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people
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 now undertake all over the world
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 ranges from hang-gliding to
mountain
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 climbing.even though they are risky to live.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 why
people
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 risk their lives in doing
this
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. A lot of
people
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 find themselves in different competitions and one of
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 is
mountain
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 climbing. They often participate in the competition for money and other rewards attached to it, in order to meet their needs and take care of their families even though they know that it is a dangerous
Use synonyms
activities
Change the noun form
activity
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, but some do not have a choice
than
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 to be a part of
this
Linking Words
 and
also
Linking Words
 make an effort to win.
Adventure
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 is another reason why
people
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 venture into extreme
activities
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. Many
people
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 just want to hang out with friends, meet new friends and connect to
people
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, others want to ease their
stress
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, and
this
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 can come from work,
from
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apply
show examples
marriage, families or
a
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as a
show examples
means of getting away, other
people
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also
Linking Words
 embark on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
adventure
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 in other to get inspiration for a particular project at work or in their personal business. I think undertaking
Linking Words
this extreme
Change the determiner
this extreme activity
these extreme activities
show examples
activities
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 in a way is a good trend as it is a source of income
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
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 involved in
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
. It is another means of easing
stress
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 from work and family, it is a source of inspiration to other
people
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 . An example was when I went
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mountain
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 climbing
last
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 year
October
Change preposition
in October
show examples
 in Jalingo, Taraba state at Yorro
mountain
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, I went because I love
adventure
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, it was
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 holiday and everyone in my lodge needed somewhere to visit, to ease boredom and
stress
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, though climbing up the
mountain
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 and climbing down were
stress
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 but at the end of the
adventure
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 we had fun. In conclusion, I will say
people
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 benefit from those extreme
activities
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 and
that is
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 the reason they still undertake them even though they know it is risky and dangerous to live.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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