Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own

Then
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The
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importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
of children to participate in organized
group
activities rather than occupy themselves in their free time which was always debatable has now become more
conterversial
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controversial
with Manny people claiming that it is beneficial while
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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other
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others
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reject
this
notion. The
substiantial
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substantial
influence of
this
trend has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my
opinión
Add a comma
,opinión
show examples
the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This
esay
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essay
will
further
elaborate my views for favouring the positive impact of
tis
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this
its
trend and
thus
will lead to
logical
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a logical
the logical
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conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
and the foremost reason behind
this
is that the
group
activities participation helps to better communication skill, improve thinking ability, make better power of
concertration
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concentration
, they can learn from their
group
mates, learn to how to behave in social life and what type of
challanges
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challenges
in
future
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,future
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they might face. They will have more interaction power and they can express their
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viewpoints
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view points
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viewpoints
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more clearly and fearless like extrovert people
compare
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compared
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to
interovert
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introvert
introverted
people.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
the
child
you
plays
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play
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in theatre
have
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has
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more expressing power and can speak on stage in front of
audience
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an audience
the audience
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with
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without
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you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
any hesitation. Probing ahead,
on
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one
show examples
of the main underlying reason
steams
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stems
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from the fact is that the parents for the sake of their
child
forcé
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force
them to be occupied in any type of activity in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they want their
child
to become independent which helps them to learn how to organize their
kepp
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keep
room clean, organize
book shelf
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bookshelf
show examples
, and study area. With that in future for
further
studies he or she might go
to
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apply
show examples
abroad they must know how to cook the food , wash clothes , iron
cothes
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clothes
and be
responsable
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responsible
of their belongings. To culminate , I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting the
child
to participate in
group
activities and become more socialise .
However
,
contrary
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the contrary
show examples
cannot be overlooked either.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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