Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

It is a debated topic

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

whether

parents

should direct their offspring on how to consume their free time by participating in group

Correct your spelling

activities

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

or leave them to choose how to use the aforementioned alone. Both sides will be discussed in

this

essay. On the one hand, there

are

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show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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high competition in all types of occupations nowadays which made the

parents

panic about their

children

's future.

This

is probably why they want their

kids

to benefit from their free time.

For instance

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during

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summer break,

children

can work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

volunteering at public service or

charity

Add an article

a charity

show examples

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

Hence

, acquired new skills as well as learned to work in

team

Add an article

a team

show examples

which is

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

important skill for their career.

On the other hand

, there are other

parents

who prefer to leave

kids

Correct pronoun usage

their kids

show examples

to choose their

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

This

is because they want to build the child's personality y letting him make his own decision. In fact,

children

are more creative when they left to do the things they like because usually they would be excited and hard to get bored and quit.

For example

, in Oman,

children

are enrolled in courses that have been selected by them to support their hobbies.

Hence

, build new generations that are independent and can easily make their choices in life. To conclude, while some

parents

prefer to enrol their

kids

in group activities in pleasure times, others think that youngsters should be left alone to make their choice on how to spend their holidays. I think that

kids

should make their own choice because it is the best way for them to be refreshed and

enthusiasm

Replace the word

enthusiastic

show examples

to continue their journey in life.

Submitted by Simsima161 on Thu Jun 23 2022

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society. Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend? how does competitiveness affect individuals?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the future robots may do more of the work that is done by humans today . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

Nowadays people living in a large city face problem in their daily lives. What are these problems? Should government encourage people to move to smaller towns?