Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is a debated topic

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

whether

parents

Use synonyms

should direct their offspring on how to consume their free time by participating in group

Correct your spelling

activities

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

or leave them to choose how to use the aforementioned alone. Both sides will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high competition in all types of occupations nowadays which made the

parents

Use synonyms

panic about their

children

Use synonyms

's future.

This

Linking Words

is probably why they want their

kids

Use synonyms

to benefit from their free time.

For instance

Linking Words

Change preposition

during

show examples

summer break,

children

Use synonyms

can work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

volunteering at public service or

charity

Add an article

a charity

show examples

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, acquired new skills as well as learned to work in

team

Add an article

a team

show examples

which is

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

important skill for their career.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are other

parents

Use synonyms

who prefer to leave

Use synonyms

kids

Correct pronoun usage

their kids

show examples

to choose their

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because they want to build the child's personality y letting him make his own decision. In fact,

children

Use synonyms

are more creative when they left to do the things they like because usually they would be excited and hard to get bored and quit.

For example

Linking Words

, in Oman,

children

Use synonyms

are enrolled in courses that have been selected by them to support their hobbies.

Hence

Linking Words

, build new generations that are independent and can easily make their choices in life. To conclude, while some

parents

Use synonyms

prefer to enrol their

kids

Use synonyms

in group activities in pleasure times, others think that youngsters should be left alone to make their choice on how to spend their holidays. I think that

kids

Use synonyms

should make their own choice because it is the best way for them to be refreshed and

enthusiasm

Replace the word

enthusiastic

show examples

to continue their journey in life.

Simsima161Thu Jun 23 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players. Others think that success depends more on the team’s mental strength. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, While others argue that it leads to negative consequences.

Obesity is becoming a major problem in many countries. What are the causes of this problem, and how can it be solved?

Employers should focus on personal qualities over qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. To what extent do you agree with this?