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Band 4.5

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and the rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #ban #sports #rock
A significant number of people believe that some dangerous
sports
, say, sky diving, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rock
 climbing should be banned. I agree with them because of two reasons.
First
 of all, few
sports
 are so dangerous that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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bring
Change the verb form
brings
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 a lot of
health
 issues.
Although
 sky diving and
Add a hyphen
so-called
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so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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rock
 climbing are extremely thrilling, they are not free from injuries and even
health
.
For instance
, a person with a weak heart can easily get cardiac arrest during playing
such
sports
.
In addition
 to these, minor problems, especially,
orthopedic
Change the spelling
orthopaedic
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 issues are very common while participating
the
Change preposition
in the
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 mentioned thrilling
Correct your spelling
activities
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the question prompt.
Therefore
, thrilling
sports
 are not free from
health
 hazards.
Secondly
, the businesses that deal with adventurous activities are out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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government
Change noun form
government's
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 control. Most importantly, they do
such
 unethical things and simply do not pay anything for the destruction of the environment. Take,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rock
 climbing,
for example
 sometimes harms
biodiversity
Correct article usage
the biodiversity
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 of the
mountians
Correct your spelling
mountains
 by disturbing the natural habitats.
Therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 against
such
 a harmful activity. To sum up,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 dangerous activities like sky diving and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rock
 climbing should be prohibited for people as it brings
health
 issues and they are out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government interventions.
Submitted by sadek.maruf172 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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