IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and the rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #ban #sports #rock
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A significant number of people believe that some dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
, say, sky diving, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rock
Use synonyms
 climbing should be banned. I agree with them because of two reasons.
First
Linking Words
 of all, few
sports
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 are so dangerous that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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bring
Change the verb form
brings
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 a lot of
health
Use synonyms
 issues.
Although
Linking Words
 sky diving and
Add a hyphen
so-called
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so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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rock
Use synonyms
 climbing are extremely thrilling, they are not free from injuries and even
health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person with a weak heart can easily get cardiac arrest during playing
such
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to these, minor problems, especially,
orthopedic
Change the spelling
orthopaedic
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 issues are very common while participating
the
Change preposition
in the
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 mentioned thrilling
Correct your spelling
activities
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the question prompt.
Therefore
Linking Words
, thrilling
sports
Use synonyms
 are not free from
health
Use synonyms
 hazards.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the businesses that deal with adventurous activities are out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
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 control. Most importantly, they do
such
Linking Words
 unethical things and simply do not pay anything for the destruction of the environment. Take,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rock
Use synonyms
 climbing,
for example
Linking Words
 sometimes harms
biodiversity
Correct article usage
the biodiversity
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 of the
mountians
Correct your spelling
mountains
 by disturbing the natural habitats.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 against
such
Linking Words
 a harmful activity. To sum up,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 dangerous activities like sky diving and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rock
Use synonyms
 climbing should be prohibited for people as it brings
health
Use synonyms
 issues and they are out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government interventions.
Submitted by sadek.maruf172 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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