It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people havea credit card, a mortagage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays
people
have various kinds of sources to acquire money easily with affordable interest rates. These sources are
namly
Correct your spelling
namely

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a credit card, a mortgage and to buy private transport on credit. Some say that it
a
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is a

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good option while some are in
oppose
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opposition

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with
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to

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the statement. I will discuss both the views in
this
essay with
Correct your spelling
relevant

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relevent
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relevant

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examples and I opine that it is a good idea to fulfil
desire
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one desire

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without waiting for long periods. With
an
Correct article usage
the

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advent of increasing affluence of the
people
and regular income of an individual. They often take loans to fulfil their dreams in a short period of time. The loan facilities provided by banks in urban areas are the most
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preferable

The word preferrable doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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preferrable
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preferable

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choices for
people
.
For example
, one of my friends, who went to pursue his master's in mechatronics engineering,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

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mortagaged
Correct your spelling
mortgaged
mortgage

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his house to in order to pass his education loan to meet the financial requirements for fees and living expenses in very low interests.
On the other hand
, It seems too risky when defined interest does not
Correct your spelling
received
receive

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recieved
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received

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on time.
Furthermore
,
penalty
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the penalty
a penalty

The noun phrase penalty seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is imposed on an individual which
also
disrupts the records and may result in
denial
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a denial

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for
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of

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future loans.
For instance
, Recently I purchased my smartphone on
credit
Add an article
the credit
a credit

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card in which
amount
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the amount

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was automatically
desolved
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dissolved

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into 6 months of EMI.
However
, repayment was delayed by 6 days due
late
Change preposition
to late

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the remuneration of
salary
Correct article usage
the salary

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.
Hence
interest rates were increased by 10% which disrupted the regular budget for 6 months. In conclusion,
although
there are both sides
of
Change preposition
to

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borrowing money,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority

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of
people
opt for loans by purchasing on credits and
Correct your spelling
mortgage

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mortagage
Correct your spelling
mortgages

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despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition of after despite may be unnecessary. Consider removing the second preposition.

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being aware of
risk
Add an article
the risk

The noun phrase risk seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. and I opine in
favor
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favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of borrowing the money as it extends the living standard of the
people
.
Submitted by lushennandanwar.ln on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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