IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people havea credit card, a mortagage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 have various kinds of sources to acquire money easily with affordable interest rates. These sources are
namly
Correct your spelling
namely
 a credit card, a mortgage and to buy private transport on credit. Some say that it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
good option while some are in
oppose
Replace the word
opposition
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the statement. I will discuss both the views in
this
Linking Words
 essay with
Correct your spelling
relevant
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 examples and I opine that it is a good idea to fulfil
desire
Correct pronoun usage
one desire
show examples
 without waiting for long periods. With
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 advent of increasing affluence of the
people
Use synonyms
 and regular income of an individual. They often take loans to fulfil their dreams in a short period of time. The loan facilities provided by banks in urban areas are the most
Correct your spelling
preferable
show examples
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferable
show examples
 choices for
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my friends, who went to pursue his master's in mechatronics engineering,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
mortagaged
Correct your spelling
mortgaged
mortgage
 his house to in order to pass his education loan to meet the financial requirements for fees and living expenses in very low interests.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, It seems too risky when defined interest does not
Correct your spelling
received
receive
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 on time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
penalty
Add an article
the penalty
a penalty
show examples
 is imposed on an individual which
also
Linking Words
 disrupts the records and may result in
denial
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a denial
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 future loans.
For instance
Linking Words
, Recently I purchased my smartphone on
credit
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the credit
a credit
show examples
 card in which
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 was automatically
desolved
Correct your spelling
dissolved
 into 6 months of EMI.
However
Linking Words
, repayment was delayed by 6 days due
late
Change preposition
to late
show examples
 the remuneration of
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
 interest rates were increased by 10% which disrupted the regular budget for 6 months. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are both sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 borrowing money,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 opt for loans by purchasing on credits and
Correct your spelling
mortgage
mortagage
Correct your spelling
mortgages
 despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
being aware of
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
. and I opine in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of borrowing the money as it extends the living standard of the
people
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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