IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibility towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's modern
society
Use synonyms
, there are many
arising
Verb problem
apply
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problems that need to be solved.
Hence
Linking Words
, some people wonder whether companies should have an obligation to
society
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of simply creating profits for themselves. From my perspective, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 the following reasons. On the one hand,
society
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 could not be
corporation's
Correct article usage
the corporation's
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 priority since there are
any
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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other key purposes to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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.
Change preposition
with.
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Firstly
Linking Words
, each company has already paid an amount of money for taxes and other vital obligations to the government. These budgets would be used to tackưitmany ongoing issues in the community
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as polluted environments, diseases, etc.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the essential aim of businesses could be to increase their
money
Check wording
profits
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 as much as possible. It means that dealing with social issues may not be the key factor
they
Punctuation problem
; they
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 ought to put a lot of effort. Meanwhile, individuals and local authorities have a duty to eliminate them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, companies taking responsibility for the public would gain many benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, focusing on the community can strengthen the loyalty of customers. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, more and more buyers
prepare
Wrong verb form
are prepared
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 to spend more money on products which allocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more or
fewer
Fix the agreement mistake
less
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 profits to social developments,
for instance
Linking Words
 polluted environment, the hunger in remote areas.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is one of the best ways to
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
Correct article usage
a businesses'
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businesses'
Check wording
business's
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reputations
Fix the agreement mistake
reputation
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can become high-profile
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
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 which attract more and more potential employees and talents to create a greater adequate working environment. In conclusion, the purpose of companies should not merely create profits for themselves
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 I think they should focus more on their duties to the public in order to bring a better
society
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make your main idea in the first line of each paragraph.
coherence
Keep one main idea per paragraph and tie it to the task.
content
State your view clearly in the opening and back it with reasons.
content
Give more real, simple examples to back your point.
language
Fix grammar and spelling so the text is easy to read.
content
Clear view that society work is needed by firms.
structure
Some good use of join words to show link.
content
Reasons are given for why CSR can help a firm.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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