Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families while others think that children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, many
families
Use synonyms
migrate
foreign
Change preposition
to foreign
show examples
for work opportunities. Some are of the opinion
that is
Linking Words
advantageous for the
children
Use synonyms
of these
families
Use synonyms
; whereas a few
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
state
Change the wording
states
show examples
that
children
Use synonyms
will observe more difficult.
Therefore
Linking Words
, ahead of my
preference
Add a comma
,preference
show examples
both viewpoints would be discussed. Discussing the former view the proponent reason that,the
children
Use synonyms
learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
so they speak English
fluency
Replace the word
fluently
show examples
and speak with
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
without any fear.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays, many
children
Use synonyms
do not participate
speaking
Change preposition
in speaking
show examples
concerns because of their stage fear.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
get higher education and job opportunities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
learn their
culture
Use synonyms
because Indian
culture
Use synonyms
and foreign
culture
Use synonyms
are very different .
For example
Linking Words
, when women live foreign country so they dress up
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
clothes and they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live
India
Change preposition
in India
show examples
so they wear traditional dress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some problems
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
working with
families
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, both the parents are working so there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
enough time
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, working with
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
can provide complete love and care to the
children
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
do not learn
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad. many people feel homesick and lonely and
Correct your spelling
therefore
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
cannot adjust
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
foreign country. Many
children
Use synonyms
do not make friends because they are do not know how their
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and
they
Correct word choice
whether they
show examples
good or not To sum up and offer my position I would support the latter opinion
Correct your spelling
to
ot
Correct your spelling
to
a large extent.
Although
Linking Words
some
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
with
families
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
advantageous.
Submitted by s.a.patadiya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: