Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

#suggest #people #job #years #school #university

In recent years, it is popular that youngsters are taking a gap years after graduation. It is

Correct your spelling

beneficial

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for some and considered a waste of time for others.

This

essay will discuss both sides in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, taking a job year before a university has advantageous effects on many aspects.

For example

, teenagers can try numerous careers in different fields.

This

will help them to build their future easily and gain many qualifications.

In addition

, working for one or two years will help youngsters to communicate with different employers and managers.

This

can improve communication skills and personality.

Moreover

, some individuals may choose to travel out of the country.

This

option will teach them different cultures and deal with different people from other nationalities.

On the other hand

, many teenagers think that work after high school is a waste of time. It is better to finish studying immediately

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

start

Fix the infinitive

to start

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job after college graduation.

Also

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number of families prefer early marriage

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

females. Their view is to have a family is more important than

to have

Change the verb form

having

show examples

a job

direct

Replace the word

directly

show examples

after school.

Furthermore

, taking a rest from

study

leads to

loss

Correct article usage

a loss

show examples

of motivation for some individuals. When their colleagues graduate from a

college

Add a comma

,college

show examples

they may lose the

study

life.

Lastly

, others prefer to

study

Masters

Change preposition

for Masters

show examples

and PhD in

a specific fields

Correct the article-noun agreement

a specific field

specific fields

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

young age. To conclude, working before universities has many pros and cons. It mostly depends on a person's situation and personality.

However

, it is very important to

study

and discuss both aspects before deciding the final decision.

Submitted by A94M on Mon Jun 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

265 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, students' concentration in the classroom has decreased. What are the reasons for this? What are some possible solutions?

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

There are serious concerns about the sale and production of genetically modified food. Yet, this is necessary if we are to meet the demands of an increasing world population. What is your opinion on this dilemma?