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Band 5.5

It is argued that people will gain more benefits when engaging in team sports such as football. Other people, however, believe that it is better to participate in individual sports like golf or tennis. I personally agree with the first group

#people #gain #team #sports #football #golf #tennis #first #group
Nowadays,
sports
 become a major part of
people
's activities. There is a group of
people
 are thinking that
people
 should participate in
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
, but others think
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 different way.
This
 statement will present both
Correct your spelling
thought
taught
tought
Correct your spelling
thoughts
. On the one hand, to enjoy the
sports
 activities,
people
 have to play the
sports
 that are
team
Add an article
the team
a team
show examples
 to earn more
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 and get to communicate with other
people
.
For example
, if you play
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
football
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 there are 11
people
 in each
team
, you will get to know a lot of
people
 than individual
sports
. some other players could give you advice and suggest how to play football better.
However
,
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
 in
team
sports
 will make you enjoy and will never get bored of it.
On the other hand
, attending
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individual
sports
such
 as golf, tennis, or badminton will gain more
benefits
 from it.
In addition
, you will get to be with yourself and be more patient.
Correct your spelling
Even though
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 you will not get to communicate like
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
sport
 but there is
community
Add an article
a community
the community
show examples
 that
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 you
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
. Other than that, your friends from individual
sports
 will be your opponents too.
For example
, golf is a
sport
 that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a lot of patients, but after the match
is end
Change the verb form
ends
show examples
, you will get to communicate with
opponents
Correct pronoun usage
your opponents
show examples
 and at
last
Add a comma
,last
show examples
 they will become
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
friends
Add the comma(s)
,friends
show examples
. To summarize,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
sport
 have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own
benefits
. It depends on the player,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 much they will earn the
benefits
 from it.
Moreover
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I think that engaging in
team
sports
 will give me
benefits
 more than individual activities because I am more enjoy when I am with a lot of
people
.
However
, you have to choose your own
sport
 and gain the
benefits
 as much as possible.
Submitted by phakinyiangyong on

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