IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessment. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #exams #students #performance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that
global level
Add a hyphen
global-level
show examples
 game
events
such
 as
FIFA
Correct article usage
the FIFA
show examples
 world cup, Olympics, Cricket, or any other sporting
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
 could create massive expenses along with vivid difficulties to its’ organizing countries.
However
,
on the other hand
, those organizers receive significant benefits
such
 as global awareness, recognition, and ticket sale income. Despite a few drawbacks , organisers could gain
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 amount of benefits from those global tournaments ,
Hence
 I disagree with the given statement. Proceeds from ticket sales could be mentioned as one of the key benefits to the hosts.
Furthermore
,
attraction
Add an article
the attraction
show examples
 of foreign tourists could create alternative revenue sources
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the local community in an effective way.
Additionally
,
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to claim some elements in the cost is another advantage to the receiving state.
However
, public awareness and glory that could gain by hosting an international sporting event is the prime benefit.
This
 is like a massive promotional campaign with
larger
Add an article
the larger
a larger
show examples
 audience around the world.
Hence
this
 could attract potential investors and bring out lots of opportunities to the country.
In contrast
, some people opine that
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
associate
Wrong verb form
associated
show examples
 with international entertainment activities
such
 as sports
events
 are a waste of public funds, and they believe these funds could have been occupied for the well-being of the habitants.
Furthermore
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the influx of tourists from different parts of the globe could create
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the culture of the local community and some argue
this
 could even bring different diseases to the country.
Therefore
, those points can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
negative aspects. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 hosting global games could bring
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 minor disadvantages to the organisers, hosts could gain many positives than the negatives as previously mentioned.
Therefore
, I firmly believe that patronage
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global stage sporting
events
 will generate more opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the hosts than the problems.
Submitted by heshru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: