Most schools are planning to replace sports and exercise with more academic sessions. How will this change affect children's lives in your opinion?

#schools #sports #exercise #sessions #change #children #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is certainly true that pupils are the future of

Correct your spelling

tomorrow

tommorrow

Correct your spelling

tomorrow

and an education play

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

role to make their career bright. It is generally claimed that at present

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

educational institutions are changing physical

activities

Use synonyms

into other subjects in the educational curriculum. I think

this

Linking Words

is a negative development as it has

harmful

Add an article

a harmful

show examples

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

on students which

Change the capitalization

show examples

will substantiate

further

Linking Words

in the upcoming paragraph.

To begin

Linking Words

,with sinister effects of having no sports activity in learners syllabus. If

student

Add an article

a student

the student

show examples

does not have

games

Use synonyms

in their schedule,

then

Linking Words

they would spend sedentary life since they will sit long hours in a class in front of laptops without doing any exercise.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they will face myriad issues in their life

such

Linking Words

as depression as well as suffer from

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

obesity disease.

For instance

Linking Words

, In developing countries like India

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

schools do not allow physical exercises in the learning institutes which

Change preposition

show examples

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

Indian students do not perform well in

curriculum

Add an article

the curriculum

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

hidden

talent

Fix the agreement mistake

talents

show examples

are not exposed

Change preposition

show examples

other

activities

Use synonyms

like the soccer and rest of

Use synonyms

games

Correct article usage

the games

show examples

This

Linking Words

is due to

Add an article

the teacher

a teacher

show examples

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

just

focus

Wrong verb form

focusing

show examples

on study rather than sports. There are numerous pupils who have

goal

Add an article

a goal

the goal

show examples

to become

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

Linking Words

Therefore

Add the comma(s)

,Therefore

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Add an article

the school

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

have special time for

games

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

these children can learn new techniques in a game and get

medal

Add an article

a medal

show examples

for their nation in future.

For example

Linking Words

, Countries like Japan propel their youngsters for physical

activities

Use synonyms

during their school time so that they can win medals for nations in

games

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the

show examples

Olympics.

According to me

Change preposition

show examples

, I am convinced that teenagers must have one break in school to relax

Correct pronoun usage

their mind

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and divert more attention to

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

. In conclusion, it is learning academics must add physical

activities

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

their timetable to overcome various issues like depression and

also

Linking Words

find another talent like sportsperson in

pupil

Add an article

the pupil

a pupil

show examples

Submitted by komal03892 on Wed Jun 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

304 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Many people think that education in universities should be free for all students no matter what their financial background is. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that students in university shouldn't pay any tuition fees and that the government should make education free for all without considering someone's financial background. In my view, I strongly agree that learning must be without any expenses for everyone no matter if they can afford it or not.
6.5
band
Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is proposed that government expenditures should be prioritized for enhancing public health and education, while others believe that funding for arts is essential. From my perspective, none of these sectors should be exclusively prioritized at the expense of the other.
6
band
Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.
One of the primary arguments against social networking sites is their potential negative impact on mental health and well-being. Excessive use of these platforms has been associated with feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression, as individuals may experience pressure to present an idealized version of themselves or compare their lives to others. Furthermore, constant exposure to curated images and content on social media can contribute to unrealistic beauty standards, body image issues, and self-esteem issues, particularly among young people. Additionally, the addictive nature of social networking sites, characterized by endless scrolling and dopamine-driven feedback loops, can lead to a loss of productivity, disrupted sleep patterns, and decreased attention spans.
5
band
The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
The presented maps illustrate a number of changes taking place in Porth Harbour between 2000 and the present day.
6
band
Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?
In the modern world , overseas travelling is most common . Individuals visiting different countries for their holidays . Some people believe that overseas visitors should charged extra compared to their home country fellow . I strongly disagree with this assertion and this essay will acknowledge the validity of this statement and elaborate my reason.

Most schools are planning to replace sports and exercise with more academic sessions. How will this change affect children's lives in your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people think that education in universities should be free for all students no matter what their financial background is. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?