IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pace #stress #life #effect #families
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Undoubtedly, the modern lifestyle has brought some change in our current way of
life
, whether positive or negative. Some argue that there is an adverse effect on
family
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the family
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 due to the fast pace and many
burden
Change to a plural noun
burdens
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 of modern
life
. I totally agree with
this
 point of view.
Life
 has a harmful effect on the family that today people have more needs and wants than those that require more money to be able to
fulfill
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fulfil
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.
For example
, nowadays people look for earning opportunities and prefer to
work
 long hours or do more than one job to earn more money. Being so enthusiastic about
work
 makes them extremely stressed and fatigued.
As a result
, they are unable to spend time with their families.
Therefore
, family
life
 is negatively affected due to busy
work
. To succeed in
this
 competitive world, students have to
work
 late to finish their assignments and projects.
For example
, some students today, cannot participate in family gatherings and do not even manage to have a meal together with family members daily due to the burden of homework and projects.
Such
 busy
life
 to have a successful career in the future often weakens their family ties, and family relationship downward. In conclusion, I believe that today's
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fast-moving
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fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
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 modern
life
 and the anxiety that accompanies it harm my family due to my pressure to earn a lot of money.
Moreover
, achieve a successful career.
Although
 modern
life
 requires many things, no one should forget that love and family affection is above all.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern life
  • fast pace
  • stress
  • negative effect
  • family bonds
  • working hours
  • conflicts
  • advancements in technology
  • distract
  • family time
  • financial pressures
  • living standards
  • strain
  • individuals
  • family activities
  • traditions
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