The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010

The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the 

population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010
The chart shows a comparison between 2002 and 2010 years of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer´s
Change noun form
computer
show examples
use
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational
level
and population.
On the
Change preposition
The
show examples
bar
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
it shows a constant through the years. 2002 was the year with few computer ‘ownerships than 2010.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
it represents 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. By comparing 2002 and 2010 a low educational
level
represents a small proportion
Change preposition
of computers
show examples
computers
Change the noun form
computer
show examples
owners.
For instance
, 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of postgraduate students have a computer.
Otherwise
, in 2002 there was only 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In conclusion, there is a rise in the use of computers depending on the educational
level
.
For example
, a higher educative
level
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
more usage of computers.
Submitted by sophiegalarza on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words level with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend analysis
  • population demographics
  • educational attainment
  • disparities
  • technological advancement
  • digital divide
  • market penetration
  • socio-economic factors
  • predictive insights
  • statistical significance
  • longitudinal study
  • accessibility
  • affordability
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