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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010

The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years
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The chart shows a comparison between 2002 and 2010 years of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer´s
Change noun form
computer
show examples
 use
according to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational
level
Use synonyms
 and population.
On the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 bar
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 it shows a constant through the years. 2002 was the year with few computer ‘ownerships than 2010.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 it represents 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. By comparing 2002 and 2010 a low educational
level
Use synonyms
 represents a small proportion
Change preposition
of computers
show examples
computers
Change the noun form
computer
show examples
 owners.
For instance
Linking Words
, 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of postgraduate students have a computer.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, in 2002 there was only 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In conclusion, there is a rise in the use of computers depending on the educational
level
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a higher educative
level
Use synonyms
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 more usage of computers.
Submitted by sophiegalarza on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words level with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend analysis
  • population demographics
  • educational attainment
  • disparities
  • technological advancement
  • digital divide
  • market penetration
  • socio-economic factors
  • predictive insights
  • statistical significance
  • longitudinal study
  • accessibility
  • affordability
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