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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Given are
two column
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 graphs comparing the rates of secondary and tertiary
education
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 among males and
females
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 in various different parts of the world.
While
Linking Words
 Europe enjoys relatively high levels of
education
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overall
Linking Words
, it seems that people in less affluent regions are far less likely to be educated. All European girls of school age and 90
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percent
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per cent
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 of boys receive
of
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apply
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girls and 10
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percent
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per cent
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 of boys in Sub – Saharan Africa Latin. America and East Asia, meanwhile, have moderate levels of secondary
education
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 – between 40 and 50
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percent
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per cent
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 for both sexes. With regard to higher
education
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, the figures are much lower throughout the world. In Europe, some 50
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percent
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per cent
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 of adult
females
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 and 45
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percent
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per cent
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 of adult males gain a higher
education
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, only 20
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percent
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per cent
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 of
females
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 and 25
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percent
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per cent
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 of males in sub – Saharan Africa attend college or university. The figures for Latin America and East Asia are marginally higher than those
of
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for
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 Africa.
Also
Linking Words
note worthy
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noteworthy
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 is the fact that
females
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 are more likely to receive
a
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apply
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secondary
education
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 in all regions except East Asia, but less likely to receive
a
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apply
show examples
tertiary
education
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 in all regions except Europe.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, females, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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