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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smoker but for non-smokers who inhale other people’s smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people’s freedom and action. What are your views?

There are some main
health
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problems
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 that can be caused by inhaling
cigarette
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smoke
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for
Change preposition
apply
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non-
smokers
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.
Non
Add a hyphen
Non-smokers
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smokers
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 who inhale
smokers
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'
cigarette
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smoke
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 are called passive
smokers
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.
Health
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problems
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 that a passive smoker could face along with the increasing amount of
smoke
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 inhaled are respiratory
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer, pneumonia and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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infection
on
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of
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trachea
Add an article
the trachea
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. Regarding
this
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that smoking should be banned in all public
spaces
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. Passive
smokers
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 could face more serious
health
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problems
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 than active
smokers
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. The worst part of being a passive smoker is that anyone could become a passive smoker in any situation where the person is in the same place as active
smokers
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. With
this
Linking Words
 being said, passive
smokers
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 could be
a
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apply
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pregnant
woman
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women
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, an infant,
an
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apply
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elderly
person
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people
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 with
health
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 complications, a teenager with cancer, and so on.
Cigarette
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smoke
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 could not only affect passive
smokers
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'
health
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 but
also
Linking Words
 endanger their already existing
health
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problems
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. Some people might
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
Correct your spelling
severe
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sever
Correct your spelling
severe
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health
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 conditions
such
Linking Words
 as GERD or
tumor
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tumors
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 that could potentially be harmed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 inhaling
cigarette
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smoke
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. In my opinion, the government and the management of public places should make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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small chambers and outdoor areas designed for active
smokers
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 with the availability of ashtrays.
This
Linking Words
 would be beneficial not only for active
smokers
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 as they could chat with others while smoking, but it
also
Linking Words
 would be
Add an article
a convenience
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convenience
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convenient
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 for passive
smokers
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 who do not prefer to be in contact with
cigarette
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smoke
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 and
allergic
Add a missing verb
are allergic
show examples
 to it. These chambers and outdoor areas would not restrict people's freedom and action as non-
smokers
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 including passive
smokers
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 are
also
Linking Words
 entitled to their rights of being healthy and not be worried
of
Change preposition
about
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 inhaling
cigarette
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smoke
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. In conclusion, the government should ban smoking in public
spaces
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. In response to that, the management of public
spaces
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 alongside the government should make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
designated chambers and outdoor
spaces
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 for active
smokers
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.
This
Linking Words
 is to protect non-
smokers
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 and passive
smokers
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 from inhaling
cigarette
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smoke
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 as it could potentially be dangerous to some.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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