IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smoker but for non-smokers who inhale other people’s smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people’s freedom and action. What are your views?

#evidence #cigarette #smoke #health #smoker #non-smokers #inhale #people’s #places #freedom #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some main
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
 that can be caused by inhaling
cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
non-
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Non
Add a hyphen
Non-smokers
show examples
smokers
Use synonyms
 who inhale
smokers
Use synonyms
'
cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
 are called passive
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
 that a passive smoker could face along with the increasing amount of
smoke
Use synonyms
 inhaled are respiratory
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer, pneumonia and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
infection
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
trachea
Add an article
the trachea
show examples
. Regarding
this
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that smoking should be banned in all public
spaces
Use synonyms
. Passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 could face more serious
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
 than active
smokers
Use synonyms
. The worst part of being a passive smoker is that anyone could become a passive smoker in any situation where the person is in the same place as active
smokers
Use synonyms
. With
this
Linking Words
 being said, passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 could be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pregnant
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
, an infant,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 with
health
Use synonyms
 complications, a teenager with cancer, and so on.
Cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
 could not only affect passive
smokers
Use synonyms
'
health
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 endanger their already existing
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
. Some people might
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 conditions
such
Linking Words
 as GERD or
tumor
Fix the agreement mistake
tumors
show examples
 that could potentially be harmed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 inhaling
cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the government and the management of public places should make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
small chambers and outdoor areas designed for active
smokers
Use synonyms
 with the availability of ashtrays.
This
Linking Words
 would be beneficial not only for active
smokers
Use synonyms
 as they could chat with others while smoking, but it
also
Linking Words
 would be
Add an article
a convenience
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 for passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 who do not prefer to be in contact with
cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
 and
allergic
Add a missing verb
are allergic
show examples
 to it. These chambers and outdoor areas would not restrict people's freedom and action as non-
smokers
Use synonyms
 including passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 entitled to their rights of being healthy and not be worried
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 inhaling
cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the government should ban smoking in public
spaces
Use synonyms
. In response to that, the management of public
spaces
Use synonyms
 alongside the government should make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
designated chambers and outdoor
spaces
Use synonyms
 for active
smokers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is to protect non-
smokers
Use synonyms
 and passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 from inhaling
cigarette
Use synonyms
smoke
Use synonyms
 as it could potentially be dangerous to some.
Submitted by serlyayus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: