Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

With the agreeable order
Correct your spelling
of
ot
Correct your spelling
of
the day, it cannot be denied that there is a significant increase in violent
crime
among youngsters under the age of 18. Some experts claim that young adults who are committing
this
crime
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
called '
juveniles
' in the criminal justice system, did not receive social and emotional learning throughout their childhood. I have to agree with the statement because from what I have learned during my college years as a Criminology student, early childhood
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
a big role in shaping teenagers into the person they become in the future. Violence is not something
that is
inherited through birth in
children
. Violence is learned through
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and passed down from
children
's
caregivers
during early childhood. When
caregivers
are not competent in
prodiving
Correct your spelling
providing
basic social learning or being emotionally unavailable while taking care of
children
, they could turn into violent teenagers.
Children
need to learn to regulate their emotions and reactions to their feelings as well as
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
to their surroundings
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
This
way they will learn how to give responses to people and
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. When
children
want a new play toy or disagree to share their toys
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
their peers, they should know that not everyone could be given something immediately without behaving well.
Violent
Add an article
A violent
The violent
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
that
emmerge
Correct your spelling
emerge
emerged
in the younger generations
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
undoubtedly a failure of their
caregivers
in providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education and social lessons to them. Some
juveniles
whom I have met in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
juvenile prisons said that they were neglected by their parents, resulting
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
them engaging in risky behaviours
such
as substance abuse, school fights, and running away from home.
Juveniles
simply did not have the same chance as privileged
children
to experience nurturing love from their parents and friend groups. Through the dangerous environment filled with careless people,
juveniles
learn how to commit violent acts and
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. There is a well-known theory in Criminology called the differential association theory where it was stated that people (not limited to adults) who are associated with
dangerous
Add an article
the dangerous
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
are more prone to committing
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
This
is because they learn how to adapt
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the new environment and socialize with criminals. In conclusion, I firmly agree that violent
crime
is a result of the lack of
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
parenting process, incompetent
caregivers
, and
lastly
lack of social and emotional learning.
Juveniles
are
children
who are broken by their parents and friends so they try to find comfort and express themselves by committing
violent
Add an article
a violent
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aggression
  • Conflict resolution
  • Empathy
  • Parental guidance
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Media influence
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Violent crime
  • Youngsters
  • Anti-social behavior
  • Socialization
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Psychological development
  • Crime prevention strategies
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