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Band 5

Job satisfaction is more important than high wages. Do you agree or disagree ?

#job #satisfaction #wages
There is a
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that
Correct your spelling
potential
Correct article usage
the potantial
show examples
potantial
Correct your spelling
potential
 of a
job
 is much more important than earning
money
. I totally agree with
this
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 because
money
 can buy things but not
Correct your spelling
happiness
happiest
happiniest
Correct article usage
the happiniest
show examples
 or
experience
.
Firstly
, most
people
work
 for
money
 while other
people
 want to get
experience
 from their
job
. It is obvious that the world is getting expensive, due to
people
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 that they have to just earn
money
 to have a good
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
However
, these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
 are focusing to buy whatever they want and living a luxury live.
Therefore
, according to
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 it is enough to earn
money
 from the
work
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 get a
job
 where they can improve
Correct your spelling
themselves
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 much more day by day. For
this
 kind of
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it is not important how much
money
 they earn or buy whatever they want.
For instance
, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 doctors can
work
 in
a private hospitals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a private hospital
private hospitals
show examples
 rather than local hospitals to get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 income. But some of them prefer to
work
 at local hospitals which are
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 more poor cities in that country because they want to get an
experience
 and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 satisfied.
Finally
, in my opinion, getting
experience
 from the
job
 which one is doing is more
satistifing
Correct your spelling
satisfying
 rather than earning
money
. There are many
people
 who are unhappy while they are earning
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of
money
 rather than
people
 doing a
job
 which they love. In conclusion,
people
 who love and get
experience
 from their
job
 are usually
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
happier than
people
 who are earning much more
money
. It should be understood that
people
 have to choose jobs which they will be happy at and develop
Correct your spelling
themselves
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 because luxury
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 does not always
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 a high income, it
also
 means
Correct your spelling
happiness
happiniest
Correct article usage
the happiniest
show examples
.
Submitted by ayseggultekin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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