Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Since social
media
have grown, the issue of the security of personal data is ambiguous. In spite of Use synonyms
this
fact, social Linking Words
media
is the most popular leisure time activity. In Use synonyms
this
essay, the pros and cons of social networks will be discussed.
On the one hand, the safety of using the internet is questionable. Nowadays kids, who are allowed to use the Net without control from an early age, can face Linking Words
such
problems as talking to strangers, cyberbullying or adult content. Linking Words
That is
why psychologists are trying to prevent adults from giving internet access to children. Linking Words
Furthermore
, social Linking Words
media
has a destructive influence on the young community. Statistics demonstrate, that teenagers tend to compare their Use synonyms
life
with others, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
is the number one problem in psychology sessions. The result of Linking Words
lives
comparison is different disorders Change the noun form
life
such
as depression, borderline personality disorder and anxiety.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, social Linking Words
media
is a great tool not only for keeping up with family and friends but Use synonyms
also
an opportunity to expand the network. Linking Words
For instance
, LinkedIn is a social Linking Words
media
platform to find jobs, Use synonyms
like-minded
people or do important career courses. Correct word choice
and like-minded
Secondly
, the internet is the fastest way to find all the needed data. People can hardly imagine themselves opening a dictionary or a cooking book to find necessary information.
Linking Words
To conclude
, the usage of social Linking Words
media
is a must-have for all age groups. Use synonyms
However
, the whole world faces serious Linking Words
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
about
security on social Change preposition
with
media
platforms, despite Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
fact
the benefits Add a comma
fact,
of
Change preposition
apply
it
still outweigh the drawbacks.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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task response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, but the conclusion needs to provide a stronger stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure overall, but there is room for improvement in providing a clearer introduction and conclusion that directly address the prompt.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?