Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risk

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Since social

media

Use synonyms

have grown, the issue of the security of personal data is ambiguous. In spite of

this

Linking Words

fact, social

media

Use synonyms

is the most popular leisure time activity. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the pros and cons of social networks will be discussed. On the one hand, the safety of using the internet is questionable. Nowadays kids, who are allowed to use the Net without control from an early age, can face

such

Linking Words

problems as talking to strangers, cyberbullying or adult content.

That is

Linking Words

why psychologists are trying to prevent adults from giving internet access to children.

Furthermore

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, social

media

Use synonyms

has a destructive influence on the young community. Statistics demonstrate, that teenagers tend to compare their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

with others,

this

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is the number one problem in psychology sessions. The result of

lives

Change the noun form

life

show examples

comparison is different disorders

such

Linking Words

as depression, borderline personality disorder and anxiety.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, social

media

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is a great tool not only for keeping up with family and friends but

also

Linking Words

an opportunity to expand the network.

For instance

Linking Words

, LinkedIn is a social

media

Use synonyms

platform to find jobs,

like-minded

Correct word choice

and like-minded

show examples

people or do important career courses.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the internet is the fastest way to find all the needed data. People can hardly imagine themselves opening a dictionary or a cooking book to find necessary information.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the usage of social

media

Use synonyms

is a must-have for all age groups.

However

Linking Words

, the whole world faces serious

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

security on social

media

Use synonyms

platforms, despite

this

Linking Words

fact

Add a comma

fact,

show examples

the benefits

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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still outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by qannelly on Sun Jul 03 2022

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task response

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, but the conclusion needs to provide a stronger stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure overall, but there is room for improvement in providing a clearer introduction and conclusion that directly address the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you thinkthis is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet has a bigger impact on people's lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 220 words.