Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Since social
media
have grown, the issue of the security of personal data is ambiguous. In spite of this
fact, social media
is the most popular leisure time activity. In this
essay, the pros and cons of social networks will be discussed.
On the one hand, the safety of using the internet is questionable. Nowadays kids, who are allowed to use the Net without control from an early age, can face such
problems as talking to strangers, cyberbullying or adult content. That is
why psychologists are trying to prevent adults from giving internet access to children. Furthermore
, social media
has a destructive influence on the young community. Statistics demonstrate, that teenagers tend to compare their life
with others, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
is the number one problem in psychology sessions. The result of lives
comparison is different disorders Change the noun form
life
such
as depression, borderline personality disorder and anxiety.
On the other hand
, social media
is a great tool not only for keeping up with family and friends but also
an opportunity to expand the network. For instance
, LinkedIn is a social media
platform to find jobs, like-minded
people or do important career courses. Correct word choice
and like-minded
Secondly
, the internet is the fastest way to find all the needed data. People can hardly imagine themselves opening a dictionary or a cooking book to find necessary information.
To conclude
, the usage of social media
is a must-have for all age groups. However
, the whole world faces serious problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
about
security on social Change preposition
with
media
platforms, despite this
fact
the benefits Add a comma
fact,
of
Change preposition
apply
it
still outweigh the drawbacks.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by qannelly on
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task response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, but the conclusion needs to provide a stronger stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure overall, but there is room for improvement in providing a clearer introduction and conclusion that directly address the prompt.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?