Many people believe that strong tradition helps to civilise a nation and that governments should therefore subsidise musicians, theatre companies, actors and artists. Explain whether you agree or disagree with this statement and what you think governments should do to promote the traditional cultural heritage of a country

Many cultures are preserved

due to

Linking Words

their cultural traditions

such

Linking Words

as music, folklore, festivals and so on. It has been discussed for many years whether the government

has to

Verb problem

should

show examples

take responsibility for

this

Linking Words

issue or not. Meanwhile, I fully agree that the state should fund its cultural tradition in order to preserve its own essence. Admittedly, cultural norms and values have been handed down for

hundred

Correct article usage

a hundred

show examples

years, but now they are starting to disappear

as a consequence

Linking Words

that people don't support artists from their own nation. A very good example is my country, Paraguay.

Although

Linking Words

we possess immense

folklores

Fix the agreement mistake

folklore

show examples

, customs and even history, the vast majority of young people are not interested at all in learning about their heritage country or Paraguayan art, causing a huge negative impact and losing the fabric of society over the years .

Furthermore

Linking Words

, shows and ceremonies are extremely expensive as well, so for that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

reason

Punctuation problem

reason,

show examples

it's impossible for teenagers to get any knowledge about their culture

Punctuation problem

show examples

Having said that, it's the authority's job to hand the traditions down and keep them strong by providing free ceremonies or shanties and dirges in schools in order to catch

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation's attention.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it must be said that

Linking Words

also musicians have

Correct word order

musicians have also

show examples

been outstanding

Change preposition

show examples

their own people. To give an example, in Paraguay we count on outstanding musicians

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, they don't earn enough profit from their job. The best solution to

this

Linking Words

would be to fund free concerts when we have national or festival days, so citizens can appreciate the fine art that their own country can give. In conclusion, the government should take care of

this

Linking Words

cultural issue

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

we must start to

recognize

Change the spelling

recognise

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the talent that each nation can offer by appreciating artists, musicians and dancers.

fxtsport

Jul 3, 2022

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content

Your stance is clear and you give reasons. Improve by adding a brief neutral intro and wrap up with a short final idea.

coherence

Work on linking ideas with better flow. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.

coherence

Develop each point with specific, simple examples. Avoid vague statements.

grammar

Check grammar and punctuation; fix run-on sentences; use simple sentence structure.

grammar

Use consistent spelling and capitalisation; use common words to avoid errors.

content

The paragraph about 'on the other hand' is confusing since you agree; keep a consistent line of argument.

content

Clear stance that government should fund culture.

content

Uses a real country example to illustrate point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

subsidise
cultural heritage
national identity
traditional art forms
intangible heritage
fostering creativity
social cohesion
harmonious societal development
economic resources
artistic expression

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Your opinion

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Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes. Do you agree or diagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.