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Writing Samples
Band 6

Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?

#position #women #society #discrimination
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I cannot agree more with
this
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 statement.
Women
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 are still discriminated against around the whole world. To
kick off
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kick-off
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, when it comes to job-hunting, the human resources managers tend to hire
men
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instead
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 of
women
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 holding similar degrees and abilities shown in their curriculum vitae.
This
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 phenomenon attributes to the amount of time the employees are able to spend on work, as it is a must for
women
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 to take a few months off when they are pregnant. In
this
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 case,
men
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 are capable to devote more time to the corporate business. Another demonstration of sexual discrimination is domestic violence. Statistics show
women
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 are more likely to be abused by
men
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 than the other way round. The reason behind
this
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 is that
men
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 are physiologically stronger than
women
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. When their opinions conflict, even if some
men
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 fully understand that their ideas are wrong, they fail to acknowledge that, as the primitive sense of conquering gives those badly-educated and irrational bastards the opportunity to exhibit superiority.
Thus
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, they tend to commit violent crimes rather than handle the conflict in a more peaceful manner.
Last
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 but not least, Those two issues might be mitigated or solved by a democratic government.
Nevertheless
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, as most of the governors in my region are
men
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, the desire to grab and hold tightly the power lures them to conceal these social issues by threatening the media from casting out the issues.
This
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 creates an even more negative effect on society: A enormous amount of
women
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 who experienced discrimination are not able to seek justice, and they tend to keep silent and suffer the most from those obnoxious
men
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. All in all, there still exists plenty of discrimination against
women
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 around the globe. Not only does it require the effort of domestic government, but
also
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 international organizations, to prevent the tragedies from happening again.
Submitted by tivicnc on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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