Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some

people

agree that

music

is a good way to bring

people

together from different

cultures

and

ages

but some

people

may disagree with

this

topic. From my perspective, I strongly agree that

music

is a good way to bring

people

from different

cultures

and

ages

together. I once have a chance to attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a concert held by a famous Korean singer who sings only in Korean. In

this

concert, I can see the wide age range of the audience are between 10 and 60 years old, majority of the audience are from different countries, races,

cultures

Correct word choice

and cultures

show examples

and speaks

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different languages. During the

concert

Add a comma

,concert

show examples

everyone seems to be

enjoying

Correct pronoun usage

itenjoying

show examples

, even though we do not fully understand the meaning of the songs. Followed by the flow of rhythm, the

music

brought us to sing together with the singer in

Korean

Change the article

the Korean

show examples

language. I remembered a famous foreign singer once said that ‘there is no language barrier when it comes to

music

’.

On the other hand

music

can be shared

Change preposition

with

show examples

people

comes

Correct pronoun usage

who comes

show examples

from different

ages

and

cultures

because

music

with different genre and rhythm give different vibes, some

music

can help to reduce anxiety and release stress.

For instance

, during yoga

class

Add a comma

,class

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

soft

music

can make everyone feels better and more

concentrate

Replace the word

concentrated

show examples

Music

not only

bringing

Wrong verb form

brings

show examples

people

together but has the power to heal mental and physical health. In conclusion,

music

can bring

people

from different

cultures

ages

and backgrounds together because

listen

Wrong verb form

listening

show examples

music

sing

Wrong verb form

singing

show examples

together can bring social closeness and connection between each other.

Submitted by huui9000 on Mon Jul 04 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Describe an item of technology that you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you.

Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?