These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #video #games #parents

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Nowadays

children

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are addicted to playing

video

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games

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and the parents think that

this

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cause

Change the verb form

causes

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a negative effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

negative effects

a negative effect

show examples

children

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's life.I completely agree with

this

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and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

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I will discuss the cons of playing

games

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with relevant examples.

First

Linking Words

and foremost,

video

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games

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are a great way of entertainment.

However

Linking Words

, addiction to that causes health issues

such

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as diabetes, obesity, stress and depression.

For instance

Linking Words

, Based on

studies

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children

Use synonyms

are less active these days,

Linking Words

consequently

Add a comma

,consequently

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they suffer from high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

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who spend the majority of the day playing

games

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feel lonely as they have less or no communication with friends and family and they would not have any friends to express their feelings or to make memorable experiences.

Thus

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, the suicide rate of

children

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had surged over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent years.

Secondly

Linking Words

video

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games

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also

Linking Words

affect academics negatively. When

children

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pay more attention to

games

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, their attention to

studies

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plummets. Staying late at night will make

children

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exhaust to focus on

studies

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and they will not have enough time to complete their homework.

As a result

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, their grades will be lower and lose interest in their

studies

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over time. To exemplify, after the holidays the young schoolers will be very lazy to attend school as they were drifted away from education for a long time. In conclusion, even though playing

video

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games

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is a mode of entertainment it brings a lot of negativities into

children

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's life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

responsibility of the parents to educate

children

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on how to balance entertainment and education.

Submitted by Chathusizzie on Tue Jul 05 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

in spite of advancements made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.