IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view

#people #person #skills #group #activities
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Many people believe that studying in a
group
Use synonyms
 is more effective and beneficial than playing alone for the
overall
Linking Words
 development of an individual. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because of its numerous benefits. First of all,
group
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 could provide a platform where we can share a lot of experiences and we can learn new things from other individuals .
This
Linking Words
 is because every topic will have an argument and different opinions from people, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, playing in a
group
Use synonyms
 will give everyone a chance to look into the problem from a different point of view which will refine their understanding.
For example
Linking Words
, many studies have shown that an individual who takes part in
team
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 is certainly better in performance than his counterpart who does not.
Thus
Linking Words
,
team
Use synonyms
 studies or
activities
Use synonyms
 definitely have their own benefits.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working in a
team
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial in improving the connection and relation between people in the
team
Use synonyms
.
consequently
Linking Words
, playing in a
team
Use synonyms
 allow individuals to make new friends from
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 culture which leads to making strong bonds
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
This
Linking Words
 action will surely
refrain
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 them
to think
Change preposition
from thinking
show examples
 in different ways and
expand
Wrong verb form
expanding
show examples
 their horizons.
For instance
Linking Words
, summer camps give children the opportunity to make new friends from different cities in the country and that could improve mental abilities and thinking capabilities.
Hence
Linking Words
, I agree that
group
Use synonyms
-level
activities
Use synonyms
 are far more effective in enhancing
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
 abilities of a person than any other game to be played alone.
to conclude
Linking Words
, after discussing all the positive impacts of
group
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 or games, I completely agree that young children should always be encouraged to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in teams because it always helps them in learning and improving their skills.
Submitted by hamada199616 on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the writer's viewpoint and summarize the main points. Develop a more consistent logical structure throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to enhance coherence. Use appropriate linking words to connect ideas more effectively. Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus on the topic.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Pay attention to word choice and use varied expressions to convey meaning effectively.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and accuracy to minimize errors. Use a variety of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
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