These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #video #games #parents

In the contemporary epoch,there is

irefutable

Correct your spelling

irrefutable

debate among folks about the trend of technology which has touched almost all

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

of our daily life.Nowadays several youngsters utilize most of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time playing

video

games

and numerous parents sense

this

is very negative.I firmly coincide and withstand the stated notion because it can cause

illment

Correct your spelling

ailment

element

ailments

to the child and

interfer

Correct your spelling

interfere

with the time for studying.

This

disclourse

Correct your spelling

discourse

disclosure

will

further

elucidate my assertion in the fourth coming paragraph

Firstly

,spending hours on the screen is detrimental to our health since it can cause

eye

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

although

some specialists advocate for some goggles to protect eyes from the garget light.Most people already have developed complications because of overutilization of them.

A research

Correct article usage

Research

show examples

done

Add the auxiliary verb

was done

show examples

by johnjee(2020) in

kenya

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Kenya

show examples

depicts that 70% of children have developed

eye

complication

Fix the agreement mistake

complications

show examples

.Parents should

moniter

Correct your spelling

monitor

kids on

this

and advocate for other off-screen

games

such

as swimming.

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

video

games

are not healthy as they are causing

eye

complications.

On the other hand

,toddlers are

utililizing

Correct your spelling

utilizing

a great deal of time on

video

games

despite having

workload

Correct article usage

a workload

show examples

of homework to work on as a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

they end up

Correct your spelling

performing

peforming

Correct your spelling

performing

badly in academic study.

For example

in Uganda,some teenagers would prefer to visit

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

game premises than go to the library to study.

However

,most youths get addicted to

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

games

such

that you will find them with

uniform

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

video

shops during learning hours so the state should come up with restrictions for

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

premises not to be opened during the week

rather

Correct word choice

but rather

show examples

on weekends.

Therefore

,gaming is very destructive to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little one as it

destroy

Change the verb form

destroys

show examples

their bright future. To sum up.

Change the capitalization

show examples

would like to restate my perspective that

video

gaming is unhealthy because it causes

eye

complications

Change preposition

show examples

children and

also

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

Correct your spelling

performance

perfomance

Correct your spelling

performance

in school.

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Tue Jul 05 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society?

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.