These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #video #games #parents

In the contemporary epoch,there is

irefutable

Correct your spelling

irrefutable

debate among folks about the trend of technology which has touched almost all

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

of our daily life.Nowadays several youngsters utilize most of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time playing

video

games

and numerous parents sense

this

is very negative.I firmly coincide and withstand the stated notion because it can cause

illment

Correct your spelling

ailment

element

ailments

to the child and

interfer

Correct your spelling

interfere

with the time for studying.

This

disclourse

Correct your spelling

discourse

disclosure

will

further

elucidate my assertion in the fourth coming paragraph

Firstly

,spending hours on the screen is detrimental to our health since it can cause

eye

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

although

some specialists advocate for some goggles to protect eyes from the garget light.Most people already have developed complications because of overutilization of them.

A research

Correct article usage

Research

show examples

done

Add the auxiliary verb

was done

show examples

by johnjee(2020) in

kenya

Change the capitalization

Kenya

show examples

depicts that 70% of children have developed

eye

complication

Fix the agreement mistake

complications

show examples

.Parents should

moniter

Correct your spelling

monitor

kids on

this

and advocate for other off-screen

games

such

as swimming.

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

video

games

are not healthy as they are causing

eye

complications.

On the other hand

,toddlers are

utililizing

Correct your spelling

utilizing

a great deal of time on

video

games

despite having

workload

Correct article usage

a workload

show examples

of homework to work on as a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

they end up

Correct your spelling

performing

peforming

Correct your spelling

performing

badly in academic study.

For example

in Uganda,some teenagers would prefer to visit

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

game premises than go to the library to study.

However

,most youths get addicted to

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

games

such

that you will find them with

uniform

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

video

shops during learning hours so the state should come up with restrictions for

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

premises not to be opened during the week

rather

Correct word choice

but rather

show examples

on weekends.

Therefore

,gaming is very destructive to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little one as it

destroy

Change the verb form

destroys

show examples

their bright future. To sum up.

Change the capitalization

show examples

would like to restate my perspective that

video

gaming is unhealthy because it causes

eye

complications

Change preposition

show examples

children and

also

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

Correct your spelling

performance

perfomance

Correct your spelling

performance

in school.

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Tue Jul 05 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views
In these days, a lot of animals are in danger of extinction, and governments should take a useful action towards that. Nowadays we have zoos to keep some animals for entertaining aims and also take care of some unique types of animals, and some people say that we shouldn't use zoos as a hobby and earning money for entertaining, but on the other hands, other folks have different thought about zoos, they believes that we should have a entertaining side too, to can earn enough money to keep and care better to animals, and I personally believe if we spend zoos income for animals it will be a positive attitude.
<4
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research , business and the academic world . Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .
Information is most important weapon to acheive glory and innovations in the world. Some People beleive that limited data should be shared in scientific , commercial and school places . While
5
band
Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?
It has been pointed out that becoming well-known and popular is no longer difficult for a massive majority of individuals owning to technological innovations such as televisions and the internet. Personally, I opine that this is a dreadful situation as it raises a huge number of detriments to young generations and individuals who want to be famous.
5.5
band
"In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. " Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
World is changing around us. Our media industry is also affected by this change. As a result of attention catching graphics and real life like acting, many people prefer to see crime movies and read its novel. It offers fascinating experience , and also assist in the growth of knowledge about our surroundings.
8.5
band
Some people think that foreign Visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in any country.To what extent do you agree with this view ?
When it comes visiting the cultural and tourist attractions in a nation, a few people believe that foreign tourists should be made to pay more than the natives. I fully agree with the statement.

These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research , business and the academic world . Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that foreign Visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in any country.To what extent do you agree with this view ?