IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are marries or single. some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
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Many companies request
for
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apply
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individual's
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individual
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 private data, like
favourite
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a favourite
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 pass time activities and passions. Few employees are of the opinion that
such
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 details benefit the organisation, while few others believe that it could be disadvantageous to the one disclosing the information. I opine that both the views have
it's
Correct your spelling
their
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 merits and demerits of
it's
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their
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 own and shall be discussing the same in
this
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 essay, and
finally
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 present my judgement that it is sufficient to share only specifics that are applicable to the role rather than any personalised points. On one side, revealing statistics related to languages known could be helpful to the designation if it involves communication with the team members or stakeholders in the well-versed natal language. Sometimes, it is
also
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 beneficial to discuss the interests
such
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 as travelling if the role expects us to do so. If any person
who
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apply
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is disinterested in commuting from one place to another, and is forced to do so, would eventually impact his productivity.
On the contrary
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, exposing irrelevant particulars may lead to judgements and demeaning a human. For illustration, if a divorcee discloses her relationship status, the situation could be utilised in an unfortunate manner by any other co-workers.
Hence
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, it is always advised to expose only specific details rather than getting into the personals. Diversity of thoughts plays a crucial role in any firm.
Furthermore
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, it would be valuable to collect facts that are suitable for the job rather than any personal particulars which could complicate the work environment for the individual.
Submitted by varsh201 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
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