Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most
products
in supermarkets contain a high level of
sugar
which can lead to several diseases, the cost of
sugar
should be raised. I agree with
this
statement because
sugar
can cause addictiveness which can be a reason for impulsive
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
and obesity.
Also
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,Also
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people
can still consume it by eating fruits which contain natural
glucose
. It is claimed that
sugar
can have the same addictive effect as nicotine. As
people
who utilize cigarettes often behave in
impulsive
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an impulsive
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way to buy more
Add a hyphen
nicotine-containing
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nicotine containing
Add a hyphen
nicotine-containing
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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, the comparable effect has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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sugar
. Cakes, chocolate, pies, and other tasty
products
often
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are often
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popular among
people
because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
sweetness and they tend to eat more because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
sweet taste.
As a result
,
people
may have a few problems with excess weight.
Thus
, it is vital to cut the production of
enormous
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the enormous
an enormous
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
sugar
by
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
its price. There are healthy alternatives to
sugar
such
as fruits and vegetables. Many
people
don’t see that they can naturally get a daily amount of
glucose
by eating healthy
products
. A lot of fruits that are affordable to most
people
contain a big amount of
glucose
which is the main source of energy.
In addition
, they contain not only
glucose
,
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apply
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but
also
vitamins, macro-,
microelements
Correct word choice
and microelements
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which are
also
essential
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an essential
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part
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parts
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of maintaining our health.
For example
,
orange
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oranges
show examples
,
spinach
Correct word choice
and spinach
show examples
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
vitamin C, and if
people
don’t take
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
dose of
this
vitamin, it will lead to
disease
Add an article
a disease
show examples
called
cinga
Correct your spelling
Icinga
.
Therefore
, consuming them can be a good alternative to chocolates and other sugary
products
which harms our well-being. In conclusion, soda and other drinks contain
sugar
in big doses which can cause
people
unconsciously consume it more,
therefore
it is unhealthy for them.
People
will spend less money buying them
,
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apply
show examples
if their price is higher, and
instead
of
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
the popularity of natural
products
will increase.
That is
why I believe
this
decision may contribute
for
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to
show examples
changing the routine of society and
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
new habits into their lives.
Submitted by olga.sivtsova79 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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