IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens
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Its often said that poorer
country
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 always have a slower growth rate, and there are several countries who
is
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are
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 facing the issue of poverty.
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Add an article
A nation
The nation
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Nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are better in growth and not facing
this
Linking Words
 drastic problem can help other nations by providing them
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food
Change preposition
with food
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 and good
education
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. I strongly don’t agree that wealthy countries should help other nations in terms of
Education
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 and
Food
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 because the
government
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 should be more self-depended and should take the responsibility for their
nation
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 as well
their
Correct word choice
as their
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 citizens.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
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government
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the government
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 should start some programs which include free
education
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.
Education
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 is always
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a backbone of a
nation
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 and if a child is getting
good
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a good
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education
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, they will get a wealthy job in future which boost the economy of the
country
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,
like
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apply
show examples
in India there are lots of programs by the
government
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 which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 free
education
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 as well as free
food
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. Later with good
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education
Add a comma
,education
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 these children get a job in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big multinational company and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 received
good
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a good
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 amount of tax which help the
nation
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 to become
more
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apply
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wealthier and improves the economy
of
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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country
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if a
government
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 of
poorer
Correct article usage
a poorer
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nation
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 ask for help
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 wealthy nations it can cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future problem like the poorer
nation
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 is being
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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 on the wealthy
nation
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 to provide
food
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 and
education
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 to their citizens. It will never motivate them to start a program which gives free
education
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 and free
food
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 like
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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government
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 is doing for their
nation
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’s wealth. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 every
nation
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 took their responsibility on
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own and should not be dependent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any other
country
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
What to do next:
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