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Band 5.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and city closing do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #town #city
In the modern era, the growth of technology has impacted the way
people
 shop,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
people
 use their smartphones to buy in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
shops
 and it will come just in a couple of days. Most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 said that it is easier
instead
 to go to traditional
markets
. In
this
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I will discuss that one-day online shopping will ease
shops
 in town and city.
Firstly
, there is nothing that can't stop the growth of technology, for ,instance the internet.
This
 time it really is the disrupted of a conventional
life's
Change noun form
life
show examples
,
such
 as the
shops
. Online
markets
 have become more and more,
also
 users. These
markets
 give many
products
 with
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
 and detail of
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
moreover
, the price is so competitive.
Then
,
people
 can easily compare all the
products
 in some online
shops
 just using their smartphones.
Furthermore
, it will
delivered
Change the verb form
be delivered
show examples
 to your home just for a mount of
Add an article
the day
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
,
ondepend
Correct your spelling
depend
on depend
 the distance from the shop to your house.
On the other hand
, the number of
shops
 in town
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become started to decrease gradually. For some things like vegetables or animal
shops
, they can still to operated for the
last
. ,
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 like vegetables have expired
date
Fix the agreement mistake
dates
show examples
 shorter than other
products
,
such
 as electronics or clothes.
Additionally
,
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
 market will stand to
last
,
this
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
old
people
 to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 like to come directly to
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
instead
 to go online.
As a result
, online shopping will lead the system of shopping,
moreover
, it will grow more and more. It will reduce the number of
shops
 in town and city, but traditional
markets
 will stay to
last
 due to old consumers who more like
tocome
Correct your spelling
to come
 see the
products
 directly, for ,example old
people
. In another word, online shopping will still grow but cant ease all the conventional
markets
.
Submitted by yudhajatmiko94 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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