IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they look for an employee.why is it the cas3?is it a positive or negative development?

#employers #qualifications #life #qualities #employee #cas #development
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In the contemporary world,there is a lot of competition among youngsters in the race of getting job opportunities.several employers accept qualified candidates rather than one's
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
.I firmly believe that it is more of a negative trend than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
positive
Correct pronoun usage
onepositive
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to discuss how experienced employees are a better option than qualified
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,the major reason is job experience education.To be more specific,every organisation or association prefers
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
highly skilled staff members as compared to a degree holder.
For instance
Linking Words
,a company need to give initial training for the newly recruited inexperienced
employee
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,the other main reason is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal quality.To be more specific,every business company has a protocol which needs to be strictly followed by all employees for the appropriate working of an organisation.To exemplify,
Although
Linking Words
 the candidate is fully qualified
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
lack of personal qualities and social ethical values will impact the reputation of an organisation.The discipline of staff is equally important as
work
Use synonyms
.
on the contrary
Linking Words
,the
well qualified
Add a hyphen
well-qualified
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
 studied and learnt various ongoing and future technical awareness.
For instance
Linking Words
,in the modern era of science and technology,each and every faculty of employment must require
a
Change the article
an
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
 that
possess
Change the verb form
possesses
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of handling techno gadgets. To conclude,in the above discussion it is quite evident that
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
 is more mature and capable of performing much better
work
Use synonyms
 than of performing much better
work
Use synonyms
 and capable of performing much better
work
Use synonyms
 than a
qualification based
Add a hyphen
qualification-based
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 a candidate with academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 has
theortical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of the
work
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 experienced one is much beneficial for the company's profit
Submitted by arsh.bhangu92 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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