Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

Nowadays, Superannuation is determined at a pre defined period by the higher authorities.

However

, It is believed by some people that fixation

Change preposition

show examples

age

for every employee, irrespective of their work, is totally an injustice. According to their perspective, certain employees should have

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to get retirement benefits at their earlier phase. I completely agree with them.

This

essay will shed light on the reasons behind

this

in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, there are various factors which support

this

Firstly

, Some workers

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

indulged in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tasks which costs them their liberty and freedom to enjoy their time with their family and relatives. Early retirement

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

them with the opportunity to utilize

this

period.

For instance

, an Army personnel is not able to find time for his personal life due to the tough situations present in the work environment,

however

, retirement at

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age

will

enables

Change the verb form

enable

show examples

them to accompany their close ones.

Secondly

, People suffering from some sort of medical ailments will

also

get advantages from

this

scheme as well.

On the other hand

, It

also

benefits myriad people working in various sectors. Primarily, Workers who are serving the nation will get benefit from

this

scheme. It will

enables

Change the verb form

enable

show examples

them to enjoy their life to the fullest.

For example

, Military

personal

Replace the word

personnel

show examples

as well as Policemen who perform regular duties

Add the comma(s)

, as well as Policemen who perform regular duties,

show examples

deserve to receive

pension

Add an article

a pension

show examples

at an earlier

age

than others.

Additionally

, Persons with

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

issues can

also

be included in the list of persons who are eligible to enjoy

this

perk. To conclude I would like to reiterate that Government and Law-makers should make the policies for the aforesaid categories of workers in order to assure their interests.

Therefore

, I agree with the above-said question that some employees

desrves

Correct your spelling

deserves

deserve

to retire at an earlier

age

Submitted by kuljeetkaur19941 on Sun Jul 10 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

297 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do benefits of this outweigh the drawbackss?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.