You work in a busy but poorly organised office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter: ask to be considered for this job explain why you would be a suitable candidate outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

Dear Mr Smith I am Nguyen, I am from the financial department. As you know our department now have some problems that why we can not serve the services properly to you. Their issues

are almost come

Change to the active voice

almost come

have almost come

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from our supervisor, he is really poor capabilities management. So I think you should choose the new one as soon as possible in case our work will become

more

Change the word

apply

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worse. For about myself I would like to introduce to you that

i

Change the capitalization

I

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have more experience in

this

Linking Words

industry and

i

Change the capitalization

I

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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just got a certificate

about

Change preposition

in

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how big data for financial management so I think

i

Change the capitalization

I

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can help our organization go over those obstacles. So I really appreciate

if

Correct pronoun usage

it if

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you give me a chance to interview about my knowledge and skills. And if

i

Change the capitalization

I

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can become a manager I think

i

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I

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can give our organization some solutions to resolve those issues,

for

Linking Words

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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first

Linking Words

I will transform our financial system to concentrate on

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

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to make decisions

instead

Linking Words

of

administrative

Replace the word

administration

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.

The

Correct article usage

Second

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second

Linking Words

i

Change the capitalization

I

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will mobilize our tools and

the

Correct article usage

apply

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change the way we work by thinking

Correct your spelling

outside

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out side

Correct your spelling

outside

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of our department and

focus

Wrong verb form

focusing

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on our company’s visions and purposes. Or if you can choose a good supervisor

is

Correct pronoun usage

who is

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better

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

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me

i

Change the capitalization

I

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will work with

he

Correct pronoun usage

him

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or

she

Change the pronoun

her

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to learn more, that’s no problem. Thankfully