You work in a busy but poorly organised office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter: ask to be considered for this job explain why you would be a suitable candidate outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

Dear Mr Smith I am Nguyen, I am from the financial department. As you know our department now have some problems that why we can not serve the services properly to you. Their issues

are almost come

Change to the active voice

almost come

have almost come

show examples

from our supervisor, he is really poor capabilities management. So I think you should choose the new one as soon as possible in case our work will become

more

Change the word

apply

show examples

worse. For about myself I would like to introduce to you that

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

have more experience in

this

industry and

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

just got a certificate

about

Change preposition

in

show examples

how big data for financial management so I think

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

can help our organization go over those obstacles. So I really appreciate

if

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you give me a chance to interview about my knowledge and skills. And if

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

can become a manager I think

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

can give our organization some solutions to resolve those issues,

for

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

I will transform our financial system to concentrate on

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

to make decisions

instead

of

administrative

Replace the word

administration

show examples

.

The

Correct article usage

Second

show examples

second

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

will mobilize our tools and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

change the way we work by thinking

Correct your spelling

outside

show examples

out side

Correct your spelling

outside

show examples

of our department and

focus

Wrong verb form

focusing

show examples

on our company’s visions and purposes. Or if you can choose a good supervisor

is

Correct pronoun usage

who is

show examples

better

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

me

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

will work with

he

Correct pronoun usage

him

show examples

or

she

Change the pronoun

her

show examples

to learn more, that’s no problem. Thankfully