ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienc
Nowadays, in many regions, more teens take part in working. Some people argue that it is worthwhile for teenagers ,and they can cultivate their skills and have responsibility . In
this
essay, I agree with it.
People believe that children shouldn’t take up paid work because it cuts juveniles off their childhood. Furthermore
, they spend all their time
in
working and studying. They almost lose their childhood. Change preposition
apply
For example
, a
research reveals that child models’ whole day is divided into Remove the article
apply
three
Add a hyphen
three-time
time
groups. The first
is 8 hours for schooling, the second
is 5 hours for working. And the
Correct your spelling
they
remain
one is for their leisure Change the verb form
remaining
time
. It means that they have a few entertainment activities like making friends and playing. It really affects their mental health and their personal developments
.
Fix the agreement mistake
development
However
, if teenagers take up jobs, they can build a
solid value. To be specific, they can understand how they save or spend their money. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, some findings show that adolescents who are working become more thrifty than their peers. On top of that, juveniles can master skills such
as leadership skills. For example
, competitive schools are not
longer Correct your spelling
no
focus
on academics, and they are looking for leaders. People who like Wrong verb form
focused
this
can get more excellent university offers.
In conclusion, when children enter the workplace, they might feel tired and they have less time
to relaxed
. Wrong verb form
relax
However
, I believe that they can learn about how to save money. In additional
, their work experience makes them become more competitive. They can get more opportunities.Replace the word
addition
Submitted by youhua94 on
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