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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvement. discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #students #results #reward #show #improvement
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Educat
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Education
Educationion
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Education
 has a vital role in all
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human beings
humanbeings
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humanbeing's
humanbeings'
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 life. A fair amount of people believe that
children
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 who perform
significant
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significantly
show examples
 in
education
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 must be appreciated whereas others argue that
children
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 who show a slight improvement in studies should be
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acknowledged
ackowledged
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acknowledged
.In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
 I support the latter view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,some
children
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 have an innate capacity in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 when compared to other students so they always show
enoromous
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enormous
 performance in their scholastic. When we appreciate these
children
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 they will definitely try to improve their current
level
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 and
sucessfully
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successfully
 achieve
next
Linking Words
level
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. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students always need
a
Remove the article
apply
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good support not only from teachers but
also
Linking Words
 need encouragement from parents too. A small appreciation definitely enhances the motivation
level
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 of the student and it boosts their confidence . Whenever a
child
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 performed best academic achievement the guardian must appreciate
then
Linking Words
 they will a proud feel about themself.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if a
child
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 shows a mild improvement in their studies when compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 , definitely they should be rewarded. Because all,
children
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does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not have the same intelligence
level
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 ,
moreover
Linking Words
 their interest in academic can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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vary from
Use synonyms
child
Correct pronoun usage
one child
show examples
 to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 , if a
child
Use synonyms
 has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
minimal progress in their
education
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 , he or she must b encouraged.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 most of them attempt to repeat the success again in the future. A study conducted by psychology students in 2010 on school
children
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 showed that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a credible enhancement in examination results after proper reinforcement. To conclude,
education
Use synonyms
 has a key role in the
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success
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 of a person.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a positive reward while learning can have a profound impact on the
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children's
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
 future
education
Use synonyms
. I strongly argue that
children
Use synonyms
 with slight educational improvement must be acknowledged it will boost their confidence.
Submitted by nairrohith719 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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