As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems. What are problems for young people who are living in the cities as the result of continued growth? How problems might be solved?

#cities #world #people #growth

These days,

cities

all over the world are thriving moderately.

Therefore

, there are some effects on adolescents who are living in the

cities

, and some solutions are needed to deal with

this

problem. To start with, there are some influences on young

people

when living in urban areas.

Firstly

, it is not easy for young

people

to find jobs. Most

people

who are in rural areas migrate to urban areas for better career opportunities, so the rate of job competition increases significantly.

This

is very difficult for graduated students and for

people

who do not have access to the education system.

As a result

, they become unemployed, and

this

could affect their finances.

Furthermore

, living in thriving

cities

makes juveniles' financial burdens increase. They have to spend enormous amounts of money to pay for the high cost of living including accommodation, food, study and services.

This

might impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their mental health.

Additionally

, the

cities

grow dramatically, and

this

could accompany

with

Change preposition

show examples

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

such

as air pollution or water pollution. There are some solutions to

this

problem.

First

of all, governments should decrease taxes so that the financial burden

Change preposition

show examples

young

people

goes down.

Then

, they could easily live in the bustling

cities

and study more effectively.

Moreover

, governments

also

need to encourage investors and managers to build more parks,

ecological

Correct word choice

and ecological

show examples

destinations and plant more trees to protect the environment. In conclusion, some impact might be caused by the growth of

cities

, and several actions are needed to solve it.

Submitted by liza.hong2307 on Mon Jul 11 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cost of living
affordability
unemployment
underemployment
competition
overcrowding
infrastructure
commute
environmental pollution
air pollution
noise pollution
wellbeing
social isolation
fast-paced
impersonal
mental health
crime rates
safety concerns

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As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems. What are problems for young people who are living in the cities as the result of continued growth? How problems might be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

one of the consequences of the medical care is that people are living longer and expentensy is increasing Do you think this advantage of development overwieghts the disadvantage?

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction.What measures could be taken to prevent this.

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?