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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you Agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members
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In
this
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 contemporary world, old
people
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 living in evacuation houses is a ubiquitous concern and considered inappropriate , because in societies taking concern for them is an assumed family duty.
This
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 essay totally agrees with the given statement. Apparently, all families have to care for their
parents
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 during their withdrawal maturity, because ,at
this
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 age, old
people
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 are mentally and physically weak,
also
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 most of them cannot live by themselves.
Therefore
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, they need
people
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 who will help them with housing and cooking as well.
In addition
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, in
this
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 period of time when
people
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 are age, they became sensitive and weak as children. All members of a family are needed when they are old because aged
people
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 always want their children to pay attention, load and love them. Any pullout houses can not replace families` places, they are not able to show the precise responsibility and love that families give.
Thus
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, it will be definitely appropriate if families look after their
parents
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 themselves.
Furthermore
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, we cannot deny the fact that when
people
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 were kids, their
parents
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 did not leave them in orphanages, most of their generation was devoted to breeding their kids.
Although
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parents
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 are busy with jobs, they could find time to caring their children. By considering
this
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 valuable breeding of
parents
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, it will be a mistake if
people
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 leave their aged
parents
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 in retirement homes.
Moreover
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, even though old
people
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 can take responsibility for themselves,
people
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 should not leave them in other places. In their retirement age, elderly
people
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 have to spend time with their loved ones, by living full of blissfulness. To conclude, based on the elaborate opinions in the paragraphs, we can conclude that taking care of elderly
people
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in
Correct your spelling
is
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 the family`s responsibility. Old
people
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 did not deserve to live in retirement homes.
Submitted by argyn-34 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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