IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. do you agree or disagree

#people #women #work #police #force
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There is
culture
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the culture
a culture
show examples
 in some
place
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places
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 that requires
teenagers
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 to do voluntary
work
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 in the middle of their free
time
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. I strongly agree with that norm because doing some volunteer
work
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 can give a
lot
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 of benefits to not only
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the teenager
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teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
, unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 can
benefit
Use synonyms
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of experience.
Doing
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By doing
show examples
 some voluntary activities,
teenagers
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 will gain a
lot
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 of advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as knowledge and experience, that can be
Correct your spelling
useful
usefull
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useful
 for their life in the future. By working
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
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 early
time
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,
teenagers
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 will force themselves to get used to a
lot
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 of
kind
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kinds
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 of occupations that they will face in their
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 when growing
adult
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adults
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. Unpaid
work
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, largely, helps
teenagers
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 to improve their
skill
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skills
show examples
 and character.
Teenagers
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 who are
get
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getting
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 used to
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, paid or unpaid in the past
time
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, will be more
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persistent
persistant
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persistent
 and stronger in the future. For
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community
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the community
show examples
, voluntary
works
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also
Linking Words
 give a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
. There are many kinds of
works
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 in the resident that can be done by
volunteer
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volunteers
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning the public facilities, maintaining
Add an article
a place
the place
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place
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places
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 of worship, and other social voluntary
works
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. In school, especially high school,
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the student
a student
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student
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students
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 can participate in a
lot
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 of activities that can give
benefit
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 to
school
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the school
show examples
community
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. For
Use synonyms
community
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the community
show examples
, despite material
benefit
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, unpaid
works
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 by
teenagers
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also
Linking Words
 bring immaterial
benefit
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such
Linking Words
 as improvement in
community
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 unity and relationship among member.
Although
Linking Words
 voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 by
teenagers
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 brings a
lot
Use synonyms
 of positive impacts to society,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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there must be
regulation
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regulations
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 that
control
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controls
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 that scheme.
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The regulator
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Regulator
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Regulators
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 should impose
clear
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a clear
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limitation
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limitations
show examples
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
kind
Correct article usage
the kind
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and
time
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 spent by
teenagers
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 who are doing voluntary
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. The regulation is needed to avoid
exploitation
Correct article usage
the exploitation
show examples
 of
teenagers
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. In brief,
obligation
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an obligation
the obligation
show examples
 that requires
teenagers
Use synonyms
 to have voluntary
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 will bring a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 not only
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
teenager
Change preposition
for teenager
show examples
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 as long as there is clear
reagulation
Correct your spelling
regulation
regulations
 that
control
Correct subject-verb agreement
controls
show examples
 unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 implementation.
Submitted by alimr.bri2 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherent equality
  • law enforcement
  • empathy
  • gender-based violence
  • community relations
  • diversity
  • team performance
  • systemic gender bias
  • physical requirements
  • culture of masculinity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: