In poor families, teenagers may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this for these teenagers. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#families #teenagers #work #study

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Nowadays, we can see lots of youngsters working

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

temporary

jobs

Use synonyms

while they are studying.

This

Linking Words

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

likely to happen to teenagers

Change preposition

from

show examples

poor families.

This

Linking Words

eassy

Correct your spelling

easy

essay

intendes

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intended

intends

to discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views followed by my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs with relevant illustrations. The most significant advantage of doing

Add a hyphen

part-time

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part - time

Correct your spelling

part-time

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

is that it

help

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helps

show examples

teenagers to get experience

for

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show examples

many things.

Firstly

Linking Words

, having to work as well as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

study is a challenging task.

However

Linking Words

, it isn't impossible to perform two things. He will learn to take

responsibilities

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responsibility

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and

also

Linking Words

know

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to save hours perfectly.

Secondly

Linking Words

, by working

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with

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people,

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the teenager

a teenager

show examples

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

will

able

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be able

show examples

to learn how to deal with people. For illustration, international students prefer to work on

weekly

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week

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days to learn about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

behavior

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behaviour

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and how to attend

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

costumers

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customers

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. The major drawback of doing

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part-time

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part -time

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part-time

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jobs

Use synonyms

is that it can disturb him from his studying because attending

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

class and doing the assignments on time, will be difficult

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the hours you are working in.

For example

Linking Words

, according to the report of

international

Correct article usage

an international

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college, most

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apply

show examples

students

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the students

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of institutions

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show examples

not perform

Unnecessary verb

apply

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because of the pressure of weekend

jobs

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it can

hurts

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hurt

show examples

the youths health

Change to a genitive case

the health of the youth

the youth's health

show examples

. The reason for

this

Linking Words

is due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of enough sleep and he will be under pressure all day. To conclude,

although

Linking Words

teenagers

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

part- time

Correct your spelling

part-time

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works cause disturbance in studying and

also

Linking Words

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the health of

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that they should do weekly

jobs

Use synonyms

to get different experience as well as it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to know about how to deal with people.

Submitted by jashanvashisht2003 on Fri Jul 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

part-time work
finances
time management
work-life balance
academic performance
minimum wage
job market
social dynamics
work experience
career development
economic necessity
self-sufficiency
exploitation
stress management
peer pressure

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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