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Band 4

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
It is true that in some
countries
, some
people
 highly support the
use
 of money largely and mainly on constructing new
railway
lines
 for very fast
trains
 across the cities.
In contrast
, others have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 of how more urgent it is for some
countries
 to upgrade their existing public transportations rather than spend it on
trains
 construction.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives
Change preposition
as to
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 why it is more important to spend more money on establishing new
railway
lines
high-speed
Change preposition
for high-speed
show examples
trains
. In many developed
countries
, their technology in
transportation
 is mainly used
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 constructing
trains
. Japan, as an example of one of the most up-to-date
countries
 in the world, has already had so many high-tech fast railways. In fact, the majority of society there
use
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
trains
 on daily basis.
High speed
Add a hyphen
High-speed
show examples
 rail has been proven to be many times more energy efficient than any other kind of private or public
transportation
 even
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
.
This
 is
a very good news
Remove the article
very good news
a piece of very good news
show examples
 because it can decrease air pollution caused by the
use
 of
transportation
. Not to mention, riding
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 rails
instead
 of busses will cost a little and more time-saving, so
people
 can get to and from work more efficiently. For
this
 reason, the
people
 there will not mind if the country
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 more finances on improving new
railway
lines
 for high-speed
trains
 between cities.
On the other hand
, some citizens in developing
countries
 do not really like to
use
trains
. The citizens in developing
countries
 still prefer to
use
 cars or motorcycles. The
people
 feel safer and
more-free
Correct your spelling
more free
show examples
 to do their business by travelling by driving cars or riding
Add an article
a motorcycle
show examples
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
show examples
. In Indonesia,
for instance
, there are still many flaws
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the ordinary rail facilities let alone the
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. Indonesia only has Bandung-Jakarta fast train. Compared to
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
, Indonesian will likely choose to improve
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 public
transportation
 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 already highly used
such
 as
busses
Correct your spelling
buses
show examples
 so it will be more comfortable. In the end, spending more funds to build new
railway
lines
 for every train should be more profitable than using it on
another public transportations
Replace the adjective
another public transportation
other public transportations
show examples
 judging by the effectiveness of the time and money. Not only that, by using fast
trains
 to travel, it is more environmental-friendly.
Therefore
, it will be wiser to work up on train development
particularly
Add the comma(s)
,particularly
show examples
 on the fast speed type.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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